Slumber's Torture
by YAY Productions
Summary: (SAINW) Donatello suffers from a series of nightmares depicting a terrifying and brutal future. But the only question remains- is he really dreaming? Set in the 2012 series, but based on "Same As It Never Was" from the 2003 series. Watch out for the horrors and terrors! Please read and review! (This now a complete story.)
1. Just A Nightmare

**A/N: Hey guys. You won't believe my life. You just won't. I've had no time to myself for two days straight, I'm trying to study for my SAT and ACT, getting a new job (yay!), keeping the house clean, on top of all my tests and babysitting the younger siblings. Oh, and did I forget to mention my bloody, ongoing battle with my second to worse enemy of all time? His name is Writer's Block. He is just pure evil! I barely managed to squeeze this baby you're about to read out before he shut off all circuits again. Curse W.B.! Anyways, I hope you enjoy. This is set in the 2012 universe, but based on "Same As It Never Was" from the 2003 series. Not sure if I'll build more to it or not, that's up W.B. I do have a plot that I could apply to this, but no promises. It's probably going to remain a oneshot. Oh well. Now off you go! Read! Read! Oh, and review! Please! It'll help Writer's Block leave me alone...**

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Donatello couldn't believe his eyes. The entirety of the grotesqueness of the situation before him alone was enough to make one terror stricken. But the fact that his brothers, Leonardo, Raphael, and Michelangelo now lay dead at his feet was an even more gruesome fact to try to come to terms with. And...it was all his fault...all of this was his fault...If he could somehow change it, oh how he wished he change this horrifying fate! But things like "if's" and "wishes" didn't come true. Not for him. Not for reality.

Both Leonardo and Raphael had been killed by Karai. The Shredder's daughter- he should have known, he should have anticipated this. But no, he overlooked, overcompensated her abilities, merely thinking of the teenager that he and his brothers battled over the past few months. But this Karai, she had thirty more years experience than his Karai. She had tussled with his brothers even more numerous times than he could have imagined. She knew their strengths and weaknesses.

Michelangelo, dear dear Mikey, had been overpowered by Karai legions. It always wound up back to Karai. It was all her fault! No...it wasn't. Even though it was Shredder who was behind his brothers' demise, even though Karai was his right-hand soldier, it didn't matter. It was all his fault. It was all Donatello's fault.

Blood dribbled out of the corner of Mikey's mouth. His body had been pounded, blasted, and torn by the legions. The slightest of moans escaped from his lips. "D..Donnie?" Rushing over to his beloved brother's side, Donatello took Mikey's one good hand.

"I'm here!" The words poured out of Donnie like a dam. He wasn't going to let his brother die alone. Not like this.

"Where's...where's Leo 'n Raph?" Mikey's voice was thick and deep, yet very quiet, so unlike his usual, noisy, boisterous self.

"Mikey...they're...they're gone..." Donnie squeezed his eyes together tightly, trying to fight back the tears that poured down his face as a waterfall.

Mikey choked, letting out a muffled sob. "You sure bro?"

"Karai...she..."

"Please Donnie. Check for me. I want to know for sure," It was a last request from Hamato Michelangelo, and not one that his brother was going to turn down, no matter how bad it hurt him.

"Okay Mikey. But stay here, okay? Don't leave me," Donnie whispered. He had to be here for Mikey when...when he passed on.

"Can't go anywhere but up, and I don't plan on to go there either," Mikey chuckled, but grimaced. Despite Mikey's upbeat attitude, Donatello knew it was too late for his brother. Far too late. Even human doctors wouldn't be able to save him, no matter what they did.

Patting his brother's shell, Donnie stood up. He recoiled the second he saw Leo and Raph. Seeing them laying down beside each other, he remembered Raph's outcry as Karai had slashed through his shell, leaving a laceration that could never be healed. He could vividly see the red masked turtle fall to the ground, inching his way to Leo's still warm body, who have been slain only moments previous. He, too, had been cut through his shell, down to his now exposed spinal cord. Had he actually lived, he would have no doubt been paralyzed neck down.

Had he lived...that phrase alone bore through Donatello's heart. Kneeling down, he checked for a pulse on Raph's neck, and watched his chest for any signs of life, but it was as he feared. There was nothing. An utter, still, nothing. Donnie couldn't stand to bear holding back the tears any longer. He let them flow freely as he also knelt down beside Leo, but there was no life in him either. His heartbeat was as still as Raph's. Karai had surely done her job.

Carefully, and tenderly, Donnie removed Leo's sunglasses. For memories' sake he told himself. Gazing down at his deceased brother, he saw how empty and cold Leo's blind eyes were. But despite all that, there was pain and courage etched hard in them, never to disappear. It was all Leo was. Determined, a fighter to the end. The leader. The big brother. The comforter. And he was gone...

A flashback passed through Donnie's skull. It happened recently, before Donnie came here. A fight with the Kraang...Leo leaping into action...saving Donnie from a fatal shot...compassionately consoling him as his adrenaline spiked from the near death experience...

Donatello shook himself from that memory. He couldn't remember. He didn't want to. He had to make himself to think of something else. He had to move on.

Going back to Raphael, he untied the bandana that had caressed his brother's face for so long. He forced himself to stare into the hot-head's eyes. Or rather, his one eye. The other was gone...just as gone as Mikey's arm and Leo's eyesight. Had he been there, he would have prevented it, he would have stopped it all.

Raphael's famous stubbornness was there always, and pride, but there was something else. Fear encompassed Raphael, a fear that Donatello had never known for him to have. The fear of losing the battle was imminent, but the fear of losing his family had filled his soul. And lost them he had.

Getting back up, Donnie shook as he saw the liquid he had been in. The crimson ink of his brothers had mingled, their life essence now on him, and seeping into the ground below. Why hadn't he noticed? Stars danced in his vision as he breathed in the cruel stench of death. "Mikey?" He whispered as he neared his wounded brother. As no noise came from him, fear clenched Donatello. "Mikey?!" He spoke louder, praying to God that Mikey wasn't gone. Falling to his knees, Donnie held his brother's head, coddling it, stroking it, hoping to see Mikey's chest rise and fall with a breath. There was nothing. Absolutely nothing, just like Leo, just like Raph. He had lost Mikey and he wasn't even there. "NO!" Donnie cried out, screaming to the world, his body now racked with anguish. "Why..." He moaned. "Why?!" Shouting out in anger, he glared at two other bodies. Those of his enemies, slain by his own hands, it was all their fault! Oroku Saki had created this accursed world alongside his minion, and they had died with it. They would not be buried, no, not by Donatello. They didn't deserve it. They would just lay there and rot, to be picked apart by the many scavengers out there. The vultures and crows, the buzzards and ravens, what did it matter as long as Shredder and Karai were humiliated in their deaths. It was such a sad and sick revenge.

Clambering to his feet, Donatello stood, although where he found the strength to commit such a feat was unimaginable. He cried out again, and for once words were seemingly not enough for him. They did not let the world know his pain. His screams echoed across the landscape, and he collapsed, exhausted. Curling up into a ball, he sobbed, completely alone, with none left to comfort him.

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Donatello awoke, having cried himself to sleep. The area around him was dark, as if all the light from the moon and stars had evaporated, leaving it just as stark bare as everything else in his life. As Donnie's eyesight began to clear, images passed by in his mind. His brothers...they were...they were all dead...

Sitting up, it hit Donnie that he was in a bed. A very soft, comfortably familiar, lumpy mattress that welcomingly smelled of herbs, old paper, and pencil lead. It was...no it couldn't be...but it was! This was where he slept every night, often bringing his work with him! It was his bed! Practically flying, Donnie leapt up, straight to where his door should be. Ever so cautiously opening it, he was suddenly flooded with harsh, bright lights that clouded his vision, blinding him momentarily. But he wouldn't stay still. Using his hands to guide him down the hallway, Donnie could hear voices in the living room.

The view before him was unbelievable. There, standing alive and in the flesh, utterly unwounded and completely whole, and not to mention as young and immature as ever were none other than his brothers. Leonardo, Raphael, Michelangelo they were all there, just sitting around, laughing about one thing or another. That alone brought tears to Donnie's eyes. This must be heaven. But could one feel heartache in heaven? He thought not. So this must not be heaven, which could only mean they were alive. Just thinking it through cleared Donatello's mind, and he knew what had happened.

They had noticed him. They saw the fresh tears, as well as the paths of the old ones that stained his cheeks.

"Donnie?" Leo asked first. Oh, that sweet word, the compassion in that tone.

"Are you okay Bucketbrain?" Even Raph was concerned, although he threw in a supposed despised nickname. Dear Raph, he was just as protective as Leo.

"Dude, have you been crying?" Leave it to Mikey to innocently point out the obvious.

"It was just..." Donnie tried to speak, but his throat began to close. "...just a nightmare..."

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**A/N: Hope you liked it! Can you review and tell me if you did (or didn't)? Please? Pretty please? Donnie wants reviews too you know! He just went through a lot. Aren't you going to at least say something to him (like you love him)?**


	2. Where Am I?

**A/N: Hey guys! Here's the next chapter! I guess I'm a little disappointed with it, but it's still pretty good. Not sure how I could have made it any better...:(**

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"It was just a nightmare," Donnie repeated. Oh, how he prayed it was just that. Just an insane figment of his insane imagination. It had too be. It was. It was just a nightmare.

Mikey ran up and squeezed him tight with both arms. Both of them. "It's okay bro," His voice sounded so young...so young and innocent. He had no clue what his brother had seen or experienced. But it was just a dream. It wasn't true. "I have nightmares too. Usually about birthday parties," Mikey shuddered, but there was humor in his voice. It made him seem complete and whole.

Raph crossed his arms, a position he seemed to always take. Donatello had long suspected that it was more a defense position than just adding to his tough guy act. He was defending himself, which only reminded Donnie of his older brother's death. He had died defending himself, along with his family. "That wasn't an ordinary nightmare," He huffed.

"You're really shaken up Donnie," Leo finally spoke. He was the protector, but he was also a lot like Donnie. They both would step back and assess a situation before responding. It made Donnie feel that much closer to him. "Do you want to talk about it?" The sincerity in it, and the concern, it reverberated from him. Anything that ever wanted to harm his brothers had to go through Leo first. And go through it it had- and it had cost Leo the ultimate price- his life. He had died...but no, Donnie had to remind himself that Leo was standing here, live and trying to help him. All his brothers were.

"I-" Donnie tried to will himself to speak. But how could he? How could he tell them he witnessed their very own deaths before his eyes? How? "I-" They were staring at him, waiting patiently. Even Mikey, despite his short attention span. His short attention span...it wouldn't last long...he would be forced to learn...

"Donnie?" Leo asked again. It sent a shock through Donnie's system. Leo laying there...on the ground...bleeding to death...calling out for him...his voice barely reaching his ears...he needed him and he wasn't there! He wasn't there for his brothers when they needed him most! His heart clenched, tightening in his chest, and his head became dizzy. He felt sick, like he was going to vomit. He was frozen in place, as if suspended in time, motionless. His mind was blank, and he could feel himself falling, as if the ground had given way underneath him, and gravity had latched itself onto his ankles, pulling him down. He gasped as he watched Mikey hovering over him, calling out his name. It was the last thing he heard.

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"Donnie," Mikey's hoarse voice snapped Donatello back into reality. "You okay bro?" His words seemed to far away for Donnie to comprehend them, like when he had wandered off to far in the sewer. They would echo, but you couldn't understand what was being said.

"It'sjustanightmare. It'sjustanightmare. It'sjustanightmare," Donnie whispered to himself quickly. It had to be. That's all it was. It was just a nightmare.

"We stopped telling ourselves that years ago," Raph growled. He held no remorse for the tears that had started dripping down Donnie's cheeks, and Donnie knew this.

"Raph!" Leo barked. He still stood at still as a statue, his expression hardly changing. It wasn't his fault though.

"What Fearless?! He's gotta learn, and he's gotta learn quickly! This isn't like when we were kids!" Their argument quickly faded into the background of Donatello's thoughts. What his brothers had just told him couldn't possibly true. It just couldn't be. He didn't want it to be. It was was to cruel- to inhumane. And with his imagination- his accursed imagination- he could see every detail they told him. He could reflect what they said, and turn it into reality.

He vaguely looked up at Mikey. His missing arm was just a testament of one of the many tortures he had been subjected to by Shredder. It was like a slap in the face. Donatello hadn't been there to protect his younger brother when nobody else could, or even would.

He turned his gaze over to Raph. He was in Leo's face, yelling, shouting out all kinds of things. Donnie couldn't even grasp the situation. All he saw was the scars that were engraved onto his body, scars of great battles, and scars of not so great ones. Old scars, new scars, tokens and symbols that were stamped and tattooed upon his body, making an impression and indication of all that he had been through. But that wasn't the worst of it. His left eye was gone- obliterated. He wasn't just blind in it, it had been wrenched out of his body, leaving him with half of his vision. Shredder thought it would have made him half as dangerous- but he was wrong.

Leo, perhaps, was worse off than any of Donnie's brothers. He had completely lost his eyesight, and worse yet, it wasn't from Shredder. Of all the things, it was his own brother that had done this to him. In one of their many fights, Raphael himself had lashed out, forever marring Leonardo. Their friendship, and brotherhood, was no more thereafter.

The one thing that Donnie was grateful for, was that at least he hadn't lost any of his brothers. He, unfortunately, couldn't say the same for his father and Sensei, Hamato Yoshi. His hero was gone- dead for many of a many years. And that was his fault. All his fault. Just like Mikey's arm, Raph's eye, and Leo's sight.

Michelangelo had told Donatello their story, their brothers intervening only occasionally, and Raph twice as much than Leo, because he was always contradicting what Leo was saying on top of what he had to add. But the story Mikey, or Mike as he went by now, was so depressing and traumatic, that Donnie was still trying to wrap his mind around it. As Mikey had said, it had started thirty years ago when something had happened to Donatello.

At that point, Donnie had noted that Raph had shot Mikey a glare that told Mikey he wasn't to go there, and Leo had cleared his throat. Even now it made him wonder what had truly occurred. But Mikey had continued, simply saying that 'Don' was gone. With Don gone, their entire family had fallen apart. Which was why it was all his fault. He was Don, Donnie, Donatello, it didn't matter what his name was, he was gone, and by the way his brothers acted, he no doubt abandoned them for some reason. But he would never...ever...leave his family for any reason unless...unless he had to protect them. But protect them from what?

With the family torn, Mikey went on saying that the fights between Leo and Raph had escalated to something they could have never imagined. Blame was being put on each other by the other brother, although what that blame was, Donnie didn't know. It had something to do with him though. And the fight the erupted from it was a bloody one, leaving one brother forever handicapped.

Donnie could visually see it. It had started like any other fight, with something wrong about Raph's attitude, or Leo being the perfectionist. From there, the name calling had begun, and Raph lunged at Leo, like he had no doubt done before. But this time he was holding a sai- his favorite weapon- and slashed Leo straight across the face. Leo's agonizingly tormented scream echoed through the sewer halls, causing Master Splinter and Mikey to come running. Blood would be everywhere, dripping profusely from Leo's face, and he would be curled up on the ground, sobbing from the pain. Raph would be rocking back and forth in a corner in shock, clutching his sai so tightly his knuckles were pale white, with hot tears building up in his eyes. Leo's blood would also be on him, and the life sustenance would, in an ever so pathetic way, mingle with the salty liquid erupting from Raph, causing a light stain on the floor below him. They would, in fact, never be able to get that stain out, because it was cleaned up much later, soaking into the concrete.

Master Splinter and Michelangelo would attend to Leonardo wounds, none of them realizing how deep Raphael had cut. Leo would never see again due to Sensei and Mikey not knowing to properly treat him- a job that Donatello knew better than all of his family combined. With Raph always running out, he need to know everything in case something had happened. But again, he wasn't there, he wasn't there to prevent it, or to treat his big brother. He wasn't there, and Leo paid for it. But why wasn't he there?

Raph had tried to apologize. Donnie knew this- he could see the unforgiveness etched in Leo's face. Leo had turned him down- something Leo would have never done unless he was extremely torn. Torn by fault in himself, torn by the loss of his brother, and torn that Raph would go so far. He could never bring himself to forgive. Never. And with that, Raphael's anger only increased. If Leo couldn't forgive him, then he couldn't forgive himself. With that merciless belief, Raph no longer followed the rules, and drifted apart from the rest of his family. Mikey could no longer make him smile, Sensei could no longer talk him through a situation. He was his own person- and nobody else's. He cared for no one, and believed no one cared for him. After all, since he was the one who stole Leo's sight, then he was probably also the one who did deserve the blame. He was the troublemaker, the hothead. It was all his fault. And so, at the tender age of seventeen, he left them. He was all on his own, disowning himself from those he held dear.

Splinter's heart couldn't handle it. After losing a son, then having to cope with two others' conflict, leaving one blinded, and the other gone, well, he was broken. He was to weak when the Shredder attacked, and although he fought bravely, he was in no state to face his arch nemesis. He barely survived the initial attack, and couldn't even save Michelangelo from being taken by their enemy. Leonardo was the only one there when he passed on, and he held his father's hand for hours afterwards, to afraid to move with his new blindness.

Mikey had discovered that Raphael had also been captured by the Foot Clan, though at the time he believed his brother near death. Raphael no doubt was very cold and bloody, his eye already pulled out. Since he refused to reveal where the lair was, Oroku Saki himself slowly sawed his eye out, just as Samson in the Bible. He remained strong though, and even tried not to pass out. That didn't work though, as the blood loss left him exhausted. And that was how Mikey found him. The two, once Raph awoke, held each other until Shredder had come for the youngest brother, and although they both put up a fight, Raph most of all, he overcame them, dragging Mikey off to his torture room. He had no need to do what he did next- he already found their lair and unbeknownst to them, killed their father- but he felt the sickening need to put the most innocent of them all in the worst of circumstances. He broke Mikey's spirit, and, amongst a variety of other injuries, also broke his arm. With that, Raph found a way of escape, although when Mikey told that part of the story, all their faces hardened, and Donnie could have sworn that he saw Raph's eye look downcast, and he mouthed the word 'Don'. Had he helped them? Did he come through? But Mikey had continued, not hinting to Donnie at all. His arm had become infected, and Raph had been forced to make a choice- lose his brother, or have him lose his arm. He chose the latter.

At that time, April had brought Leo to her apartment and had helped him bury Master Splinter. Since she was eighteen, it wasn't so hard to hide him, but with Shredder now able to take over the world, it was more difficult than had it been before. He hadn't found Leonardo at his raid of the lair, and as thus hadn't felt like he had exacted his revenge. And now with his two victims gone, it only made him search harder. But Raph and Mikey too headed to April, only to face the horrifying truth that their father was gone. It didn't take much time after that for Raph to take off again, and although Leo stayed with April and Mikey physically, mentally he was lost to them. He learned to cope with his disability, and turned it into his strength, and left them once and for all.

And that's where Donnie was. He only had one question for them. "Guys..." They all looked at him, surprised that he voiced anything. "Where am I?"

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**A/N: So that's the Grand Chapter Two. Hope you enjoyed. Please review D: Please! It feeds me!**


	3. Sea of Emotions

**A/N: Okay guys, so I'm heading off for the weekend, right? And I've spent the past three days doing "spring cleaning"? So what do I do for you? I get up at 4:30 AM to get this chapter posted! That's right. four-stinking-thirty. For you. Yep. Reviews would be nice.**

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"Where am I?" Donnie repeated. "Where's the real me? The me from here?" His voice grew louder, and he glanced back and forth between his brothers, although Leo couldn't see him doing so. He no doubt sensed it, but he, nor any of their brothers, spoke a word. "Please," He pleaded. "I have to know."

It was Mikey who finally broke the silence. "No, you don't bro," His tone was laced with an amalgam of regret, sorrow, and oddly enough, fear. "Donnie," He sighed. "Just don't go there."

"Why shouldn't he?" Raph huffed, getting up from his leaning position on the wall. "He has the right to know," Looking at Donnie, he sighed. Crossing his arms, and keeping them close to his chest, he exhaled deeply. "It's all my fault..."

"Raphael!" Leo scowled. "What do you think you are doing?" Donnie could feel the tension rise in the room, and he flinched, cowering. He did his best to fade into the background, to be nothing more than a bystander. This could not be happening. It shouldn't be happening.

"I'm just explaining to my little brother-" Raph was cut short by Leo's scoff.

"Oh ho ho! First of all, he isn't ready! Secondly, Donatello's not just your little brother! You don't own him, and you don't own what happened!" Leo raged.

"I don't?! So you're finally taking responsibility after all these years?!"

"Don't talk to me about responsibility! You're one who left us- left Master Splinter when we needed you the most!"

"Us?! When was there ever an us?! As I recall, you said you hated me! You abandoned Mikey!" All in the room hushed. Leo clenched his jaw, and Raph tightened his hand into a fist.

"Guys," Mikey put his hands up. "As used to this as we are, Donnie is not," Donnie could feel Raph's gaze on him, but he didn't open his eyes to look his brother back. No, it was to painful. It hurt...just the mere thought of seeing his brothers like this one more second was enough to to make his heart crack under the pressure. It was as if someone was standing on his shell, crushing it, and him, under the weight of it.

"It'sjustanightmare. It'sjustanightmare. It'sjustanightmare," He found himself repeating these words, as if they were going to change everything, like he was just going to wake up and find that it was all false. Just a figment of the imagination. This just couldn't be true. The hostility between Leo and Raph, it was to much. They could never loathe each other with such an intensity. It was impossible. They were brothers- and brothers stuck together. That's why it couldn't be true. It just wasn't.

"You abandoned Mikey too," Leo muttered, storming out of the room. Raph, to say the least, was steamed, and wheeled around, punching the concrete wall behind him.

"I gotta get out," He ground his teeth, fuming, and with that, he was gone.

Mikey walked over to Donnie, laying his comforting hand on his shoulder. "Guess I'm the big brother now," He chuckled lightly.

"Mikey..." Donnie whispered. "...what happened?"

"That's for another time," Mikey stated flatly. Bowing his head, he sighed. "After you rest."

"But-" Donnie needed to know. He had to know how he tore his family apart in such a way that the bonds were unfixable. It was undeniable- he was the cause of contention, whatever he had done, or whatever had happened to him. Whatever he had allowed.

"Sleep Don...nie," Mikey paused at his brother's old nickname, smiling, but Donnie knew it was just a facade. "It'll do you good."

Donnie nodded. Laying down on the cot, he closed his eyes, and although he willed himself to stay awake, he drifted off to the land of dreams.

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"Donatello!" A familiar voice urged Donnie from his slumber. "Donatello!" At first he opted to ignore the imploring need from whoever was calling, but as the voice was becoming more insistent, it seemed vitally important to wake. It wouldn't let him alone. That was when the clouds covering his mind began to float away with the wind of thoughts. Memories began to replace those clouds, horrible memories of his brothers, the bodies and souls tormented. He struggled to breathe, gasping for precious air that alluded him. It was as if it was not there. His body repeated h actions of earlier, flying up as he finally caught a well deserved breath.

"Donatello!" The person that had been luring him back into reality as none other than his father and sensei, Hamato Yoshi. Splinter was very much alive in this instant, although his tired eyes were consumed with worry.

"Father!" Donnie cried out, choking a the words as he clutched the man that held him. As much as he hated it, he could not hold it in. As if his brothers' deaths on his hands wasn't enough, the notion that he caused his father such heartache was to much to bear. He had literally signed Splinter's death warrant, and he had signed it in blood.

"It is alright Donatello," Splinter tried to soothe, but he was shaken beyond belief. Donnie could sense this, and as he looked around he saw that his brothers were were too. Leo was sitting nearby Donnie and Splinter, his arms wrapped around his knees, and Raph was holding Mikey, who was sobbing uncontrollably.

"What...what is going on?" Donnie murmured. What could have happened that had shaken his family so?

Splinter kept a tight grasp on Donatello, not saying a word. He was simply whispering a prayer of thanks.

Leo looked up, staring his brother straight in the eyes. "We had lost you Donatello," He spoke this almost in a monotone manner, but it was simply the fact that he was trying to keep back the tears. It wasn't that that had bothered Donnie though- no, it was the use of his full name. It made him sound just like older Leo. And that Leo...was a nightmare.

"Lost me?" Donnie asked.

"You weren't breathing!" Mikey cried out, "You weren't breathing..." Shaking, Mikey reached out for his older breathing, placing his fingers over his mouth.

"Mikey?" Donnie whispered. "What are you-" He couldn't fathom what his brother was doing.

"Breath. You're breathing. You're okay..." Mikey whispered, giving Donnie one of the biggest hugs he had ever given him. "You're okay..."

Donnie took a sharp breath in, and looked at Master Splinter, then Leo, then Raph, and finally Mikey. He couldn't hardly process all of this. First they hated each other...now they were standing by each other's sides...helping each other...they were a family. That's what they were. They were a family. Or were they? Donatello couldn't wrap his head around it. There were to many memories...and to many feelings...he was drowning in a sea of emotions.

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**A/N: Thanks for reading! Please review! Pretty please! It'll be a nice surprise when I return from the theme park Sunday :)**


	4. To Find An Answer

**A/N: Howdie my fellow buckaroos! As you can tell, I am in a very good mood! And you know why? It's because of you guys! I have received so many reviews and such good feedback! Thanks so much! And for that, anybody who has a DeviantArt can come check out my page and get a free feature AND a free wallpaper! Yep! :D So can you tell I'm in a good mood?**

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"My son," Splinter reached out for Donnie, grasping his trembling, green hand. That slightest show of affection flooded Donnie's thoughts, reminding him of when he and his brothers were young. He squeezed his father's hand back tightly, a lone tear trickled down his cheek. He remembered that, despite his brothers' mocking laughter, Splinter would hold him as they walked down the terrifyingly dark sewer tunnels. His fears were often based on nothing more than a creaking pipe, or a rat scurrying by, but his imagination would take over, sending him falling into the nightmarish aperture of his mind. His father would comfort him, washing away the rears, banishing the terrors until next time. He had always been there for Donatello, always there to protect, support, and care for him. And how did he repay him? Instead of returning the love, he abandoned him. He was not there to protect him when the Shredder came, nor was he there to support his father as he watched his family disintegrate before his very eyes. He wasn't there to care for him when he needed him the most. But worst of it all, Donnie knew that if he had been there, he could have prevented it all.

If. That single word was the sum of his existence. One empty, meaningless if. You could track that 'if' back to his biological parents, even further if you truly wanted too. If those two unknown turtles hadn't hatched a clutch of eggs...if he hadn't been strong enough or healthy enough to sell as a pet...if that specific store hadn't requested turtles...if his father hadn't purchased him...if he hadn't survived his exposure to the mutagen...the list went on and on. To many if's, yet all one in the same.

"Donnie?" Mikey snapped him out of his thoughts. "Are you going to be okay?" It was such a childish question. It was impossible for Donnie to know, and in a way, he didn't want to be okay. He just wanted to wither away into nothingness, to get away from all the emotions that coursed through his body. But as much as he wanted to shun himself, he couldn't. His heart willed him to remain. He had to remain for his family. He had to be here. He couldn't let them down. He couldn't let them suffer. Not at his hands. Not like that.

So he nodded. He nodded at the innocent, freckle faced turtle. And that small, reassuring nod spread relief throughout the young, orange banded ninja. His brother was going to be okay. It was that relief that filled and assured the others, a connection that, despite their doubts, helped them to be able to ease up a little bit.

"Donatello," Splinter remained ever vigilant. He was, of course, a father, and his son's mysterious attack was not going to be just waved off and forgotten. As Donnie gazed into his eyes, he could see the concern, the desperation. He had already lost a wife and daughter, he could not bear to lose a son as well. As he placed a paw on Donnie's shoulder, he blinked, and Donnie expected to see strength return to his father. Instead, there was a weakness he could not explain. The weakness had began to eat at him, corroding him, and if it continued its course, it would surely be the end of him. "What has caused this?"

Donnie was at a loss for words. Bowing his head, he barely spoke above a whisper. "I...I don't know...I...I don't have the equipment...I don't understand how the biometric system works...I can't pinpoint a problem...I don't have the knowledge..." The last part shocked him.. He truly did not know. He found himself rambling, but this time was different. Usually his brothers grew bored of him, simply nodding, or in Raph's case, walking away. But now, now they hung on to every word he said, processing it as if it meant life or death. And it a way, it did. But it didn't really matter. He could barely speak, meanwhile comprehend what he was saying. He was just going through the motions, responding to the situation as if it were rehearsed. He knew this was a sign of shock.

Splinter was shaken, to say the least. He searched for an answer, just as the rest of his sons did. Donnie just watched in awe as his brothers seemed to all simultaneously sit around him, in a circle. It was a hedge of protection. Their caught on to what they were doing, and sat in front of Donnie, crossing his arms. Together, his family began to mediate for an answer. Together. Together forever.

Donnie was speechless. Slowly he made his way to the floor, taking the position that he had every day since he was a child. Closing his eyes, he tried to focus, tried to relax. The horrors he had faced crossed over his vision, but seemed to melt away into a puddle of nonexistence.

* * *

Donatello hadn't felt so relaxed in what felt like ages. The nightmares, the fears, they all seemed to disappear. It was wonderful. It seemed Sensei was right- mediation did help the body and the mind.

As Donnie concentrated, it hit him that he could not remember why he was meditating with his family. It was something important, and it was something to do with him, that much he knew. The rest was a blur, a hazy cloud that blocked his memories. He desperately tried to sift through his thoughts, he tried to understand why he needed to meditate so fervently. But there was nothing beyond the misery of the unknown. And it was the unknown that scared him. "Sensei?" He whispered, hoping not to disturb his brothers. Hopefully they were to deep in that they opted not to pay attention to him. If they did, they would no doubt make fun of him, teasing him how he should have been focusing. That was why they were all meditating. To focus. On something. "Sensei?" He spoke louder this time, waiting for his father's reply. No matter how deep he could be in, he always heard his sons. Always. So when no answer came, and not even a snicker from Mikey, Donnie opened his eyes.

It was at that moment that Donnie's world fell beneath him. His heart dropped, crashing into an undeniable abyss below. The sight before him...it terrified him...it shook him to his core...what had just happened?!

His home, the lair, it was trashed. No, that was the wrong word. 'Trashed' was to soft, to kind of a term to describe the scene before him. His family's sanctuary was completely and utterly destroyed, everything torn, burned, or decayed. Even the walls were crumbling, threatening to collapse at any given moment, and a thick, hazy dust filled the air. How could he have not noticed?

He yearned for an answer. Only seconds ago his family had sat around him, and now they were gone. Where were his brothers? Where was his father? How could they just be gone? He had to find them. He had to save them from whatever had taken them, from whatever had them. He had too. He had to right the wrong.

So, stumbling room through room, he looked. He looked anything, for a clue, for a sign. But nothing aided him. Everything seemed so old, like it had sat in the same places for decades. The entire feel of his home was wrong. It felt abandoned, discarded. Tossed away like the garbage it appeared to be. But how was that so?

There was nothing there that could help him. Amongst all of the wreckage, and all of the junk, nothing actually seemed to out of place that called his attention. All except one thing. It was something that didn't belong, and although it was extremely faded, it had caught his eye immediately.

It was a stain. Sure, they had plenty around, but this one was different. It was blood. He had seen it countless times, but not like this. Not stained into the concrete. Not so ghastly and pallid as this. It was from one of his brothers. He could fell it. Something was lost the day that blood was spilled here, something that abetted to this destruction.

He didn't know what to do. He couldn't sit here and wait, as it was evident nobody had been here in such a long time. He was at a loss. There was just so much to process.

April. He could go to April's! She might have a clue, or at least be able to help him solve what had happened. She was his only ally, the only person he could turn too. Or at least the only one who wouldn't grab him by the face and shake him like a rag doll.

Donnie jumped over the rails that he had so frequently the past few months. He did it every night as he went on patrol with his brothers, seeing glimpses of his father as he carelessly whisked off into the night. Oh how he wished he could just go back to that. To just see their faces, to know they were okay. It would be a miracle.

Donnie raced down the subway tracks, keeping any eye out for anything unusual. He didn't know how he was handling the situation like he was, all he knew was that he had to find April. He had to find his brothers. He had to find Master Splinter. He had to recover his family.

He stopped completely dead in his tracks. There had been a cave-in, and it wasn't a recent one at that. It looked more like an old explosion gone wrong. The walls and roof had completely buckled, leaving no hole to pass through to the other side. The only other option was to go topside right here, right now. Sure, he might risk being seen, but what did it matter any more?

Donnie fumbled for the manhole ladder. For whatever reason, this section of the tunnel was darker, causing him to lose his sight. Instead of touching the cold, metal handles though, he felt something else. It still had that metallic feel to it, but it was much, much larger. It was...the Shrellraiser? Why was it left right here? Right where the entrance to the surface would be? It still felt intact and whole, but he wasn't sure. It was so hard to tell.

Clambering to the roof, he crawled up to the heavy cover. He hesitated for just a moment, trying to weigh out whether it would be wise to venture outside. But his family was counting on him, they were waiting for them. He couldn't let them down. Slowly he lifted the heavy piece, expecting sunlight to fill the dingy space, but none came. It wasn't night- no, it was cloudy.

Donnie quickly, but cautiously pulled himself up. The nasty, smog filled air entered his lungs, and immediately he wanted to dive back to the sewer. It was so atrocious. But he had to continue. He had to move on.

Slipping through the backways and alleys, it struck Donatello odd that there were no people out. And when he meant no people, he didn't mean just a few. He really meant none, zero, zilch, nada. All the buildings were broken down, and they looked like it had been that way for years. There was no answer for it, at least not right now.

As Donnie rounded the street, he looked for April's building. But where it should have been was nothing- nothing but a pile of bricks around the base. It was entirely demolished. His last, true friend was gone, just like his family.

He couldn't hold it in any longer. He fell to knees and screamed. He didn't care if anybody heard him, if anybody saw him. It didn't matter. He had to let it out.

He screamed for as long as he could, until there was not a breath left in him, and his voice was gone. After that, he just cried, sobbing like there was no tomorrow. And for him, there was none. Without his family, he had no life.

He didn't hear hear the approaching footsteps, he didn't feel the rumble of the machines that drew near to him. He completely toned out the world until a voice spoke out to him.

"Place your weapon on the ground, and raise your hands in the air!" It was loud, and almost like static, as if it was coming out of a megaphone.

Donnie slowly stood up, facing the man who was no doubt a confused policeman. He didn't know how wrong he was.

A group of about some forty men stood around him in a half circle. They were dressed differently, and yet identically, like soldiers. A red flame was sowed onto the right arm of their uniforms. The Shredder's signature. Donatello should have known he was behind this the entire time. Who else but his father's nemesis would try and destroy their family so?

Donnie had no mercy left in him. His sorrow was replaced with vengeance and hatred, hatred that boiled over and blinded him. He struck at the man nearest to him, knocking him down in an instant. The man did not rise again. But Donnie didn't care. He was in a raging fury.

He didn't see the figure watching from the shadows, nor did he see that figure jump into action alongside him. He was too consumed with what he felt he needed to do.

An explosion finally caught his attention. One of the military vehicles had imploded, scattering parts and Foot soldiers everywhere. The source? A jumping shadow who at this moment trying to evade being shot at. The person moved swiftly, jumping through dead cars, only to swing out, surprising the enemy. He was an expert at fighting this specific adversary, but it wasn't until he pulled out the nunchuck that Donnie actually blinked. His ally swung rapidly, but it was coordinated, and confident. He countered many blows, deflected even more shots, and at the the same time, set off a chain of events that ended up with a helicopter bursting into flames. He was clearly a master in this game of cat and mouse, although he was neither cat nor mouse.

As the enemy retreated, he landed beside Donnie. "Don?" He sounded hoarse, but Donnie recognized the voice in an instant.

"Mikey!" He grabbed his younger brother into a tight hug. He was somewhat surprised that the affection was not returned- in fact, Mikey seemed to stiffen at the mere touch of him. "Mikey?" Donnie pulled back to give his brother a good look over. His eyes widened as his brain tried to register what he was seeing. "Your...your arm..." He reached out, his fingers brushing against the nub that used to be his brother's arm. He gazed into Mikey's face, but the look that he received back was even worse. His brother was old, to old to be Mikey. But he had to be. He was still sporting those same mischievous freckles, taking in the world around him with those same bright blue eyes. But he was so different than the innocent teenager he had once been. He was older, and more mature, as unbelievable as the latter was. But despite his surroundings, he still seemed himself, although a hardened warrior.

"Don?" Mikey repeated. He too blinked in disbelief as he looked at his brother.

"What happened to you?" They spoke at the same time, in unison, the question filling the air with uncertainty as both tried to find an answer.

* * *

**A/N: Mwahaha! That almost reached 3,000 words. Hope you guys appreciate it. It's almost 2:00 AM where I am, and to top things off, I'm at my grandparents house. Nana already came out here once telling me to go to bed. If she catches me up again, I'm a goner. But I just had to get this out to you guys! Oh, and did I forget to mention we're getting up early? So you can thank me in your review : D All of you people who are reading this. Even you anonymous people. I take all reviews! Except for flames, cause those are mean. But please please please review! It's what is keeping this story alive! You guys! Your reviews! Keep feeding me! Keep feeding this story! Keep feeding your love (or lust) for SAINW fics! Oh, and for all who are STILL reading my rant, let me tell, there is something BIG coming up. I'll warn you when my little surprise is up. It'll leave you scratching your heads XD But again, thank you to all you wonderful people who spend their time not only reading my junk, but reviewing too! It means a lot to me!  
And yes, now I'm just rambling because if I ramble just a little bit longer, I'll hit the 3,000 word point. Blame me being tired. And the fact that I want this chapter to be 3,000 words. And that was it right there! We are now over 3,000 words! Yay!**


	5. To Know What Is Wrong

**A/N: Hi everybody! Just want to say: this was a difficult chapter to get out DX 1) I wasn't in 'the mode'. I blame it on sleep deprivation. 2) Mom kept fussing at me for two hours to finish up. Nearly got my butt grounded for you guys. So please be thankful. 3) It's 1:00 AM, and I have to get up early for school tomorrow. So yeah.  
Firstly, I'm hoping this is a good chapter. I really am. If there are any spelling errors, it's cause I'm so sleepy. Please inform me if something is wrong. If it's hard to read, tell me. If it sucks, tell me. Yeah.  
Secondly, I want to congratulate yourselves! This story (not counting this chapter) had four chapters and fifty reviews! That a 4-50 ratio! An average of 12.5 per chapter! You guys have astounded me! I cannot wait to reach my 100 review goal before we reach 10 chapters! Can you help me make it? Awesome! :D**

* * *

Both Donatello and Michelangelo were silent. Gazing at the orange banded turtle, Donnie took a sharp breath in. "Mikey...what...what happened here?" He tried to steady his breath, he tried to calm his nerves. He began to shake, but he didn't know if that was because he was coming down from an adrenalin spike, or because he was truly afraid of what his brother had to say.

Mikey just cocked an eyebrow. "Like you don't know," He almost scoffed, but Donnie could see he was fighting back his emotions strongly. That was so unlike Mikey. He was always open with his feelings, always ready to give you a hug when you needed one- or when he thought you needed one. He was always there with a smile on his face, always. He was the brother that brought laughter and joy to the family. But here, right now, it looked like the only amusement he got was when he bashed some Foot Ninja heads. He reminded Donnie of Raph.

Donnie was quiet as he tried to read his brother's body language. He looked like he wanted to run away, like he wanted to blend in and turn invisible before Donnie's sight, but at the same time, he appeared to long to just sit down and talk, just like old times. "I...I don't know Mikey...I really don't know..." Donnie's voice wavered, threatening to crack as it had earlier.

Mikey just shook his head. "What game are you trying to pull Don? You should know it's not going to work. After all these years you finally return? A changed heart? Oh please, we both know you better than that," He sighed, the sarcasm he bore so thick, you could cut a knife with it. He looked away from Donnie, turning his back to the confused teen, and began to slink away into the shadows where he belonged.

"Mikey please!" Donnie reached out, grabbing his brother's shoulder. "Please! I'm begging you!" This wasn't like Mikey. He didn't just abandon his family when they needed him. And what did he mean by 'finally return' and 'a changed heart'?

Mikey glanced back at him. "You sure do look different Don..." Chuckling lightly, he tried to shake off his old sense of humor. It was something that he just couldn't accomplish, not without throwing in one more line. "You lose weight or something?"

Donnie felt his mouth go dry. What was going on? Why was Mikey acting this way? "No Mikey," He choked. "I'm fifteen Mikey. I...I can't say the same for you..."

Mikey laughed out loud, staring Donnie straight in the eye. He had grown taller since Donnie had seen him last. It was odd to think like that, as he had seen his brother earlier that day. In fact, he had seen him in the past hour. But right now, it felt like it had been ages ago, as if he had been on this search for forever. "You're serious," Mikey muttered, his face falling. "What the shell is going on..."

Donnie's eyes widened. "Mikey...what would Master Splinter say about your language?" Although he often heard Raph say something like that, and Leo once, he had never heard Mikey say anything remotely similar to that. It was another shock to his system.

Mikey froze, his entire body going rigid. His upper lip curled in disgust at Donnie, and he even seemed to growl slightly. "Don't you quote Splinter on me! Not after what you did..."

Donnie just blinked. "What did I do Mikey?" This was just to much...he was trying so hard to understand what Mikey was saying, but it wasn't registering. What had he done?

His face must have shown his confusion, especially the way Mikey gawked at him. "You're not really Don, are you?"

Donnie threw his hands up in the air, letting his body take over what little control his mind had left. "I don't know what's going on Mikey! One minute we're all in the lair, the next I'm here, I'm in this nightmare! This isn't right! This isn't real! It isn't true!"

Mikey just stood there, his mouth agape. "Nightmare? Oh...shell..." Rubbing his temple with his one good hand, Mikey blew out a gust of air. "Oh shell. I never thought...this couldn't be..." He began to pace in a circle, running his hand over his head, as if he was running his fingers through hair. "I could...I could change everything..." He began muttering to himself, a slight crazed look in his eyes. "Come on Don. We have to go..." He paused, thinking why they needed to leave. "Old Shred-head will be sending some more goons, and he'll probably be sending a lot. We need to go meet the Resistance Leader."

"Resistance? Leader? Mikey what is going on?" Donnie coughed as he inhaled to much of the toxic air. He wasn't accustomed to the high amounts of pollution, nor did he understand what was happening.

Mikey just rolled his eyes, summoning his brother to follow. "We're going to April, okay?" His tone was slightly short, as if it should have been obvious.

Hope started to creep into Donnie's heart. "Is Leo and Raph with April?" He smiled at the thought of his older brothers.

Mikey scoffed. "Are you kidding me? Leo and Raph aren't with anybody."

"Why?" Donnie hadn't meant for that to slip out. Mikey's tone alone had told him not to broach that subject. But it just happened. It had just...come out. He desperately needed answers, and right now, his mind was completely turned off. He was going by instinct, not by common sense. If there was even a difference between the two.

Mikey was silent for a few seconds. He glared at Donnie, but finally sighed, and shook his head. "The turtle with the the big brain finally doesn't have all the answers. Who'da thunk it?" Sighing, he couldn't meet Donnie's gaze. "Let's just say that Leo and Raph got in a big fight a long time ago. Things haven't been the same since..." He let the words just hang there, still providing no explanation as to what had happened. And that was all Donnie wanted. An explanation.

Something echoed over an intercom. It sounded like...Karai? "Serve the Shredder. Serve the Shredder and live. Serve the Shredder. The Shredder is watching. The Shredder is always watching. Serve the Shredder."

Donnie narrowed his eyes, muttering to himself. "Talk about brainwashing..."

"If you want to live Donnie, you're gonna have to be quiet," Mikey hissed, stopping at a drain. He slowly lifted it, and disappeared into the hole below. Donnie followed, but he had a sinking feeling.

The rest of their 'trip' was in absolute silence. The once extremely talkative Mikey was much to quiet, even more ninja than Donnie. It had been hard to get him even remotely still, but now, it seemed as if talking was foreign. Finally, Mikey spoke. "Here we are." The building they had appeared in front of was old, and had the look of desertion. But beneath the masquerade, Donnie could almost see something under the skin of this place. A secret that it held, the secret of the only hope for the world. "Come on," Mikey gestured, and Donnie followed.

They walked down several long corridors before coming to a center room. People, real people, were actually here, running around. Some were shouting orders, other carrying them out. None were, and this surprised Donnie, shocked to see two mutant turtles walking around. Mikey merely pushed his way through everybody, Donnie glued to his side, his eyes wide as he tried to take everything in.

"Take these to Dr. Rockwell A.S.A.P.! He needs to run the decoding encryption program!" That voice...it sounded so familiar...yet the authoritarian tone that circumferenced it was hard, and incorrigible.

"Hey, Resistance Leader!" The jovial Michelangelo had returned briefly, a grin on his face. The woman turned, looking at Mikey and Donnie, but Donnie felt his heart fall. "Look who I found!"

April blinked. Her once red hair was greying, her green eyes had darkened. "Don? Is that really you?" Disbelief seemed to course through her, and all Donnie could do was nod.

"Sort of," Mikey sighed, gazing deep in April's eyes. "He's uh...well...April...he's from the Nightmare. As in The Nightmare," The way Mikey said the last two words was deep, and catastrophic. It seemed to mean the world to him though, and to April too. Her eyes were bugging out of her head.

"Is it true? Could it be?" A new wishfulness seemed to fill her, and Donnie saw her slumped shoulders rise slightly. Whatever they were talking about, some kind of 'nightmare', it had something to do with him. He was sure of this. But what did it mean? What was the 'nightmare'?

Mikey ignored his peculiar look. "Don't get your hopes up April. We both know how everything already turned out. There's not much we can do," Mikey seemed to scan the floor, appearing dejected, and downhearted.

April clenched her jaw. "Mike, we can't give up. It could be our one chance to right everything. To fix the wrong."

"Uh..." Once again Donnie said something without even meaning to. It was as if his body started having a mind of its own. Both Mikey and April turned to him, Mikey cocking an eyebrow. "...Hi?" It was the only thing he could think of on short notice. It was an utter fail, he knew, but he couldn't help it.

April beamed, reaching out for Donnie. She embraced him, unlike Mikey, and held him tight. "I always knew this day would come...Master Splinter said so..." She squeezed him tight, and Donnie was speechless. He felt his skin start getting wet, and he realized it was April crying. She pulled away, wiping the water from her face. "I'm sorry...I didn't mean to...this has to be so weird for you..."

Donnie nodded, again. "You...you mentioned Master Splinter..." Aril froze, and she no longer was looking at Donnie. She was looking at Michelangelo. She was looking for an answer. "...where is he?" Donnie asked, although he already knew. The worst had happened. His Sensei...he couldn't bring himself to think it...

"A lot has happened in thirty years Donnie. Most of it not so good. Shell, probably all of it is 'not so good', just some 'bad not so good' and the rest 'worse not so good'. If that makes any sense," Mikey leaned up against April's war table. It had little figures all over it, mapping out New York. It was a battlefield if Donnie ever saw one. A horrible, cruel battlefield where many had died, and many more still would. It was where one went for a last stand, to face their death. To end their life and go on to another world, if one believed in such things. To make peace.

Donnie was dumbfounded. The area around him became muffled, and he once again felt himself losing control. He found himself making wishes, desiring for anything different. At first he didn't even hear himself screaming and crying out, and when he did, he didn't want to stop. He started practically demanding, although he was begging and pleading for his father at the same time. "I want Master Splinter!" Thoughts began to cross his mind of his older brothers, Leo's caring arms around him in the rough times, and Raph's encouraging words when times were tough. They were always there for him in the rough and tough times. Always. "I want Leo! I want Raph!" He was blinded in need, not seeing the situation as it was. All he knew was one second everything was uncontrolled, unrestrained, wild even, and the next, he was being held by Mikey. His little brother was clamping down on his arms, but there was love in his actions. He shaking him, doing his best to get the rest of Donnie's emotions out of him.

"Don! Don!" Mikey cried out, but Donnie toned him out. He wasn't Don; he was Donnie. He wanted to be called by his childhood nickname, he wanted his family to call out to him. "Donnie!" That's all it took. His name. His brother calling his name. He collapsed, falling, only supported by his brother's arms. "Pull yourself together man! You have too!"

"Please..." April touched Donnie, and he stared into her eyes.

"I want Leo..." He murmured. "I want Raph..." He watched Mikey glance at April, but she shook her head no.

"April's guys will find them, okay Donnie?" Mikey patted his brother's shell.

"Mike!" April barked, but as she looked back at Donnie, she sighed. "We'll our best, okay Don...nie?" She made sure to add the end piece. He could see the sadness in her, she didn't want him to be like that. She didn't want him to suffer. They all had suffered to much already, she didn't want to make him too. Not him.

Donnie had always thought of Mikey as the innocent, insecure, little brother. It was now that he knew how wrong he was. Their roles had been reversed- it was now he was the little brother. He was the one who was insecure, extremely insecure. He was the only one who had not been put through this hovel, he was the innocent one. To many years here had made Mikey all he wasn't.

Mikey slowly sat Donnie down as April shouted out orders to find Leonardo and Raphael. They would have to wait, Mikey tried to explain to Donnie, but Donnie didn't want to wait. He wanted his big brothers. He wanted them now.

Mikey did his best to keep him calm. Donnie wanted to fight against his brother's attempts to steady him, and although he did give him many problems at first, it wasn't long before he gave up. He just sat, motionless, watching as the partisans worked. It was then that he surrendered. He surrendered to Mikey, he surrendered to this world, he surrendered to himself. He couldn't be naive anymore. This was his home, with his brothers. And with April. He had to pull the best out of him, he had to save what was left of his family.

Slowly, he stood up, making his way to the table. He studied everything about it, from the positions, to the flanks, to the numbers. He read about Shredder's fortress, about the robot legions, about the weapons. And slowly, a planned formed in his mind. It wouldn't take an army, it wouldn't take superior fire power. What it would take was a better strategy, a fresh perspective.

"Leonardo has been spotted!" A cry rang out, jolting Donnie. What was he going to say to his brother? How would Leo react?

"Raphael is approaching the vicinity!" A collected stiffness filled the air, as if all in the room knew that something was about to erupt.

Donatello got up from his spot at the table, making his way to where he had been signaled. Briefly, Mikey touched him. "Keep this in mind Donnie: A lot has changed. A lot. You see me now, you see how different I've become. But it's what I am, and there's no changing that. Just like there's no changing Raph n' Leo. They're rogue Donnie, they're out for nobody but themselves. So unless you've got a pretty good darn sales pitch, I'm warning you, don't put your faith in those two. They're not the Leo and Raph you remember," Donnie nodded, and although he wanted to blow his brother off, he kept his words close.

Donnie walked down the hallway. He noted the poor conditions, the broken windows, the glass on the floor. So much had corroded away, the building was fallen apart.

He heard a thump, as if someone had jumped in. It was automatic for him to slink into the shadows, to watch who it was. That was when he saw Leonardo. At first he didn't recognize him- his signature blue bandana was gone, replaced by black sunglasses. He also now was sporting a dingy trench coat that oddly enough, matched the glasses. His head and hands were scarred, and he only bore one katana. He seemed to stop, as if sensing his surroundings. He knew somebody was here, and stiffened.

Raphael fell through the fractured roof, landing perfectly. His look startled Donnie. He too carried scars, and the hole where his left eye should have been peeping out of his mask had been sewn shut. He was always wearing clothes now, displaying a brown leather jacket. He easily seemed like a rugged 'biker dude'.

"What the shell are you doing here?" Leo growled.

"Leo?" Raph scoffed. Donnie was starting to realize that this was perhaps not one of his better ideas. "April's guys didn't say anything about you being here!"

"Oh, what's the matter Raph? I remind you how you abandoned Master Splinter when he needed you the most?!"

"Alright Leo!" Raph fingered his sais dangerously. "I'm through talking! Let's finish this once and for all!" Just before Raph lunged, Donnie hit him with his bo staff, and he hit him hard. He swung around, jabbing Leo too, as his older brother was drawing out his blade.

They both froze. Raph gave Donnie a hard look, his single eye widening. "D...Don?" He seemed shaken up, and weakly reached out to Donnie. Pulling him close, he hugged him tight. It was what Mikey should have done earlier.

"Don?" Leo spoke. His face remained unmoving, completely still and stationary. Donnie barely saw behind the shades that his brother's eyes did not move. He was blind. Leo...was blind...

"It's me.." Donnie choked out. He wasn't going to let this family reunion go untouched. "Come on Mikey," He signaled for the orange clad turtle. He knew he had followed him the entire time, watching silently.

Mikey stepped out into the dim light. "Leo, Raph," He nodded in acknowledgment to both of his brothers. "This is...Donnie. From The Nightmare."

Time seemed to stop. Both were quiet, contemplating on their next moves.

"Guys, I know this is crazy, but I have plan," Donnie grinned. "A plan to take down the Shredder," It was foolproof, he was sure of it. He had perfected it. He was going to save this world.

They all grimaced. All three of them. "I'm sorry Don..." Raph turned his head. "It can't be done."

"We've tried to many times," Leo added. Mikey seemed surprised at this, as if Leo and Raph never agreed on anything. And in truth, they probably hadn't.

"Trust me guys!" Donnie gazed at each one of his brothers. They all seemed to just drift away from him, none responding. "I can fix everything!" It was something they no doubt heard before, but he was sure of it. He could fix everything.

Mikey licked his lips. Raph gripped his sai. Leo shifted his stance. Donnie blinked, waiting. He was tired of waiting though. He had been waiting, waiting for all of them. He was not going to let this slip away this easily. "Why not we mediate on it?"

It was the only thing they accepted from him. So as Mikey led them to a private room, Donnie tried to think of a tactical way to get them to agree. It had to be just long enough to take down the Shredder- if they took him down together, they would be a family again. It was a sound stratagem.

Together, they sat down in circle, though the other three were reluctant. They weren't used to this anymore. They had become unaccustomed to what they had once done everyday.

It didn't take long for Donnie to drift off, his mind clearing. He relaxed, and he was thankful for that.

* * *

"Donnie? Donnie?" Donatello opened his eyes to Mikey poking him. "You were kind of out of it dude."

Donnie blinked. What had just happened? "I..I think I was Mikey..." His heart hammered in his chest, and he thought for a few seconds it was going to explode.

"Are you alright my son?" Splinter stood beside him, his unwavering eyes boring a hole inside Donnie.

Donnie breathed, shaking his head. "I don't think so Sensei...I...I don't think so...I don't know anymore..."

Mikey's bottom lip began to quiver. "But you said...you said you were gonna be okay...you said..."

"I know what I said!" Donnie snapped, but pulled himself back together. "I'm sorry...I...I didn't mean too...I just...I just..." Looking up at Leo and Raph's shocked faces, Donnie started to feel queasy. "I...I have to go to my lab...I have to know what is wrong with me...I have to know...what is wrong..."

* * *

**A/N: Long chapter. Almost 4,000 words. Pretty darn long in my books, but I don't know about you guys. Mind telling me? :D Thanks. It means a lot. You may ask yourself- why does she always ask us to review? My reason: I study your reviews (and notes) every day. I look at what you guys have said you like about this, and I use it. I try to practice with it, especially since the styles I am using in this story are pretty unfamiliar. Also, reviews help feed my love for this story, and, on another note, helps my Mom to understand why I have to write so bad. So in all technicality, you guys are helping yourselves by reviewing!  
Oh, and Donnie wants you to review to. He wants to finish up this story quickly so he doesn't have to suffer anymore. Silly Donnie! I don't think he realizes that with an author like me, and can turn romance into angst! Whoop! Anyways, yes, I am rambling again. Sorry. I just can't help myself when I'm so close to a marker. I'm not sure I've ever had a chapter 4,000 words long...of course, that is counting the author's notes. But wouldn't you keep writing if it meant getting to that special spot? Of course you would!  
And. There. We. Go! We hit it! Yay! Over 4,000 thousand words!**


	6. You Better Listen Well

**A/N: Thank you for all the lovely reviews guys! You make me feel so good! We now have 60 reviews on 5 chapters! So I have one favor to ask you guys: Can I get AT LEAST 15 reviews for this chapter? That'll bring us to 75 reviews! If you guys can do that for me...I would die from shock! And then you guys will reanimate my body so I can finish this!  
Which reminds me. I have a sequel planned out! Does the episode name "Good Genes" mean anything to ya'll? I hope so!  
And, just to clarify a few things, this chapter does pick up where Chapter Three "Sea of Emotions" left off in the SAINW world. Just saying :D**

* * *

Donnie shook uncontrollably as he tried to make himself stand. His limbs were jello, like they were just going to fall right off his body if he made one wrong move. His arms hung practically uselessly at his sides, and his legs, he could hardly make them work. It was as if the connection between his brain and his body had been severed. Mentally he begged them to work. He didn't want his family seeing him like this. They just...they just couldn't! He wasn't weak! He wasn't going to let them down! He wasn't going to let them die!

It was Leo who caught him as he tripped over his own feet. He had hardly stumbled a few steps before falling, his strength having completely left him. "Donnie?" Leo held him so firmly, so confidently, but Donnie could feel the fear. It was thick, and covered him, like he was coated in motor oil grease. Gazing into his big brother's ocean blue eyes, Donnie tried to gulp down the terror that held him. How long would those eyes see? How long would that heart care? How long did he have before his world was shaken? How long?

Donnie didn't even know he was crying until he felt the sob escape from his lips. Wet, hot tears spilled down his cheeks. He couldn't hold it in any longer, not right here, not in front of everybody. He had to get away from their stares, from their questions. They would begin asking, he knew, but how could he tell that that he had no answers? That the genius of had to many questions himself? He couldn't. He couldn't stand to see the disappointment etch across his father's face, the thought of disgracing his family. It was why he strived so hard- he couldn't let down any of them. He worked to make life the easiest it could be for them, to create the closest thing to a utopia they could have. As much as he loved science and math, he had given up his one true passion for them, a passion that none would know, but him.

Donnie felt the comforting hand of his father wipe the tears away. It was utterly useless though, just like him, because they were only replaced by more. It was like everything else he did. He would fix something, only to have more problems arise with it, or with something else.

Splinter brought Donnie into his arms, and just held him. He held his son tightly, and he felt like a child again. He clutched ahold of Splinter's robe, breathing in the calming scent of jasmine. It was his father's favorite tea, and usually that alone would help to relax him. It made him think of all that Splinter was and did. He was his father, his teacher, his sensei. He was the one who comforted them in hard times, the one that pulled the best out of them, the one who made them who they were. But this time, no, this time Hamato Yoshi could not help. This was a battle Donnie had to face himself, a battle that he was losing. He was dying, and in a sense his family just did not understand. They believed his body was deteriorating, but in truth, it was his mind. He was going insane. He no longer knew what was right or wrong, left or right, up or down. All he knew was the pain. The pain that would not go away.

He could hear Mikey whimpering, doing the best he could to stave off his own emotions. He could feel the sense of responsibility that Mikey believed he had. He had to be strong, but not for himself. He had to be strong for his Sensei, for his brothers. For Donnie. But just watching his brother fall apart...no, he had never witnessed anything like this before. None of them had. Donnie was the level-headed one, at least most of the time. He was the one who knew how to turn his emotions to the side when he needed to.

But not this time. This time...it was like everything in his life came crashing on him, that all of the hurt and torment that had gone through him before came back at one time. All of the guilt and depression, all of the mistakes, everything. He was being engulfed into a deep, dark abyss. It had no end, and no beginning. He couldn't go back, he couldn't tell them how sorry he was. How, if he had the chance, he would change everything. He just didn't know how.

Donnie wasn't sure how much time had passed. All he knew was that as his cries stifled, so did the others. They only knew his agony as much as he allowed them, or what spilled over.

Mikey shuffled his way over to Donnie, fingering the soaked, purple bandana that lay on his face. He seemed hesitant to touch him, like the slightest brush would shatter him. Mikey was wrong though. He was already shattered, broken to the point that not even Sensei imagined. They could not see his heart trying to mend under the pressure, nor did they see him trying to pull himself back together. They did not see him caving into the lure of hardening his feelings to himself, and to them. But they could feel the defeat. The failure. He given up, and it only made him feel worse. Fighting didn't help, but neither did surrendering.

"Donnie..." Mikey's voice was so quiet, so timid, even Donnie was shocked. Mikey only continued to play with the cloth, not even looking his brother in the face. "...is this my fault?"

Donnie grimaced. What was he supposed to tell them? That he let them down? That he let them die? That he wasn't the brother they needed? That life would be better off without him? How was he even supposed to answer Mikey? He couldn't even form coherent words! He couldn't hardly move, but he had to do something. He shook his head as hard, and as fast, as he could. Not a sound came out though, and that clearly disturbed his younger brother.

Mikey's lower lip quivered. "I'm sorry Donnie...please don't be sad..." He sounded younger, smaller, like a child. He reminded Donnie so much of when they were younger. Why couldn't things go back to how they used be? When life only consisted of training, meditating, and lab experiments? Why had he been so insistent on going to the surface? If they hadn't, they would all be safe from this!

But he couldn't change the past. No matter how hard he wished, desired, even coveted after something different, it wouldn't change. Not for him. Not for him...not for them. He couldn't be selfish. He wanted it to change for them. He would go through this for a thousand lifetimes if it meant they didn't have to go through that...that world. That horrible world.

One of his brothers put a trembling hand on his shell. Donnie had expected it to be Leo, but it wasn't. It was Raph. Raph, out of his brothers, was visibly shaking, his breaths were shallow. He was as much a protector as Leo, and if anyone dared to touch one of them, they would pay for it. But this? With this, Raph could do nothing. Nothing but sit back and watch the show, and pity the fool who was his brother. He, like the rest of them, were nothing more than sympathetic. They didn't understand.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Leo spoke, but it was different. He got it. He knew so much more than the rest of them, than Master Splinter even. Maybe it was just because he was more in tune to his brothers, or maybe it was just him being Leo. But he was the one who grasped the situation more than anybody else. "It's okay Donnie," He didn't even mean to pull Donnie from Splinter's arms, it just happened. "It's okay," He did his best to soothe him. He was really trying. He was trying to understand. He was the big brother. He was the leader. He was the defender, the guardian. "When you're ready, okay? You talk when you're ready," Donnie nodded as he fell to the exhaustion that plagued him. His eyelids grew heavy, and no matter what he willed, he fell deep asleep.

* * *

Donnie stirred, the uncomfortable cot he had been sleeping in creaking under his weight. The sudden noise jolted him, and his eyes flashed open. Where was he? What was he doing here?

"Good morning Sleeping Beauty," Donnie turned his head to face the stranger, but he wasn't sure if he wanted to smile, or cower at the sight.

"Mikey," He finally responded, sinking back onto the bed. He had so many things running through his mind, he had so many questions for his brother. His brain had only just started adjusting to all to this though, did he want to add anything more? It was, perhaps, not one of the wisest of ideas, but he did need to know. Sitting up, he looked his brother straight in the eye. "Mikey, you said yesterday that you would-"

"Explain everything?"

"Explain what happened to me," Donnie stated it like there was no turning back. He needed his brother to know he could handle whatever he was about to learn. Leo wasn't going to tell him any time soon, and Raph...well, Raph had his own probalems. He had never been very good at putting his thoughts into words. "I have to know," He added this, although he wasn't sure why.

"So now you're jumping the gun?" Mikey sighed. "Hardly been thirty seconds and you're already pestering me..." His expressions were so hard to read, so hard to interpret. It was no doubt a mix between practice on his poker face, and the look of his body. It was still a rude awakening for Donatello, and not one he was bound to forget any time soon. "I know what I said," Mikey closed his eyes, and seemed to try to steady his breath. "I'm only going to say this once Donnie, okay? So you better listen closely, and you better listen well."

* * *

**A/N: For those of you who are wondering, yes I am updating extremely late at night (or early in the morning, however you want to look at it). My brain is now dead (blame getting up early every morning for the past school week to study Physics), and the only thing keeping me awake is the fact I want to get this posted.  
But again, please please please review! It would mean the world to me :D I noted that there was a (slight) decline for the last chapter...so I was wondering, am I doing anything wrong? Could I sell my "please review" pitch any better? I accept anonymous reviews form you people who out there reading this without accounts (or are to lazy to sign in XD).  
Again, my goal is 75 reviews for this chapter, and only you can make that happen. Thanks :)  
Alright...good night...they stuff I do for you guys...*yawns and falls asleep***


	7. Together As A Family

**A/N: Is it someone's birthday? It's not mine, so it has to be one of you guys! To have another update so soon...is this spam? I don't know lol.**

* * *

Donnie struggled to take a breathe in. His chest had tightened, and his heart was threatening to stop. It was beating so hard, so fast, he began to shake. He was lightheaded, and dizzy. Was his brother really going to tell him everything? The truth? The reason for this world? What his part was in it?

"Calm down bro," Mikey sighed. "Don't want you blowing a blood vessel now, do we?" Absentmindedly, Mikey scratched on the end of his missing arm. "Alright...let's see...where the shell do I even begin?" Donnie felt his mouth going dry, and his vision seemed to begin cloud over.

"The beginning?" He offered. It was the best thing he could think. Start where it all originated, where he delivered the crushing blow to his family. It was better that way. He had to prepare himself for the worst though, and he didn't think he was ready. Could he handle the truth? Could he handle his own deception? Treachery?

Mikey exhaled quietly, "That was a...a long time ago." Nostalgia filled his eyes, and he took another deep breath in. "Uh...well...it started out about thirty years ago. You uh...you went through some stuff...had some nightmares...and well...we weren't there for you like we should have been." Donnie couldn't believe it. That was how all of this started? He had nightmares? That was it? "We blew it off. We told you they were just nightmares...that they didn't matter...that you just had to let go..." Mikey clenched his jaw, trying to pull himself together. This was clearly something he didn't want to talk about, something had tortured him for years. "You thought...you thought we didn't care...you grew distant. Eventually...eventually it was too much. Since you pulled away, you felt like we were, too. You believed with all of you that we didn't care. That you weren't our brother. Then it happened..." Hatred seemed to fill Hamato Michelangelo, a hatred that had long consumed his soul.

"What happened Mikey?" Donnie felt so lost. He would never turn his back on his brothers like this, not over something so menial as a dream!

"Something was triggered Donnie. None of us are sure what is really was, whether it was Kraang related, or something else. All we know is that you changed. You had a...a secondary mutation. Even after-"

"A what?" Donnie couldn't believe his ears. A secondary mutation? Was such a thing even possible? And why would it happen to him?

"Look, I told you I'm not repeating myself. I want to get this done and over with as quickly as possible. As I was saying, even after we managed to reverse it, you were different. I...I think you felt like you couldn't...trust anybody."

"Trust?" Donnie blinked slowly. "I know I can trust you guys! And Master Splinter! And-"

"Donnie," Mikey held up his hand. "You didn't trust anyone, least of all yourself. You thought...you thought..." Donnie could have sworn that he saw tears in Mikey's eyes. "You thought you were a monster. You started treating yourself as one. I...I watched you fall apart before my very eyes...I watched the gentle, science loving turtle turn from scared and hurt, to...dark...and...and..." Mikey's started choking up. He was crying freely now, as much as he didn't want to. He had tried to push those memories back into the furthest corners of his mind, and yet here was Donnie, drawing them out like poison. But Donnie wouldn't let that. He reached out for his little-turned-big brother, pulling him into his arms.

"I won't let that happen Mikey...I won't let it happen...when I get home from this cesspool...I won't let it...I won't...you have my word," It was Donnie's testament. He was not going to ever betray his family like that. Not in such a cruel way. He wasn't going to let them fall part like this because of him.

Mikey stifled a sob, pulling away from Donnie. He roughly wiped his tears away, shaking is head. "I'm sorry," He tried to sound tough and emotionless again, but it wasn't going to happen. "I'm sorry let you down Donnie...I'm sorry I failed you as a brother..I'm so sorry..."

Donnie was trying to not suffocate in his own guilt. How could Mikey even dare blame himself? How could he think any of this was his fault? "It's not you Mikey...its me...I let all this happen..."

"No," This time Mikey sounded stronger. He placed his hand on Donnie's shoulder, and stared him straight in the eyes. "You didn't," Both brothers leaned towards the other, drawing in the other. They embraced tightly, reconciling to the other. Tears were shed, emotions wrought and tossed like they were in a ship at sea. They were brothers again. They were brothers, and no one was going to change that. They were going to stand side by side each other, never letting the other down again. They weren't sure how much time actually passed, they were just intent on comforting the other. And comfort they did.

"Donnie..." Mikey whispered, and he sounded just as fragile as he had when they were kids.

"Yes Mikey?" Donnie was happy to just be here for his brother, and he was going to make sure that he would always be there for him.

"Please don't leave again..." Those words broke Donnie's heart, and he clutched Mikey even harder.

"I won't Mikey. Never ever. I will never leave you, okay?" Donnie stroked his brother's shell.

Mikey nodded. "I should...I should probably...finish telling you what...what happened," His baby blue eyes searched Donnie's for any reason not to complete his tale of terror, but Donnie wanted to know. He needed to know. But he wasn't going to let Mikey suffer, not like this. Not again.

"It's okay...you don't have too..." He murmured, trying to soothe his brother. He wasn't going to let him hurt anymore. He wasn't going to hurt him, and he wasn't going to be the cause of his pain.

"No," Mikey stated this loudly. "It needs to be told. We...we never really talked about it...I...I think...I think I need to talk it out," His voice fell again at the end, but he was still confident.

Donnie nodded. How else was he to respond?

Mikey took a shaky breath in. "When...you changed like that, everything was so...so different for all of us. You...you were so...so angry all of the time. You...you started fighting with Master Splinter...and when he told you that you had to pull your act together...you..." Mikey cringed. "You struck out at him. You seemed a little...remorseful...but when Raph and Leo started yelling at you...you stormed out. You were so angry...Donnie...you...you never came back...you never came back to us..." Donnie reached for his Mikey, but Mikey grabbed his arm. He stared straight into Donnie's eyes, straight into his soul. "Master Splinter never stopped believing in you. I didn't either...not until...not until Shredder..." Mikey stabilized his breathing just for a few seconds before begin to hake again. "You were the one Donnie...you were the one who told the Shredder where we were...and it wasn't even because he made you...you went to him! You told him because you wanted to!"

All the air escaped from Donnie's being. He...he had betrayed his family in the worst possible way! He...he killed Master Splinter...but not with his hands. This was possibly worse. He had killed father with his actions. He had crushed his brothers' spirits. It was all his fault!

"I had always thought there was some good left in you...I hadn't even known it was you...not until you saved me and Raph from Shredder...I don't even know why you did it Donnie. You were...you were playing us...you wanted to see how the game between us and Shredder would persist..." Mikey had begun crying again. He was so vulnerable now, as if the slightest touch would shatter him. It reminded Donnie of something that had occurred between the two of them before...but it had been reversed. "You saved us from the Shredder, Donnie. I held onto the that. But...but you had become another person...we didn't even know you anymore...the things you told us as he recovered...and with that...that smile on your face...it had been years Donnie. Years since we had seen your face. But the one that we saw...I would have rather believed you were dead...you were the same...but you were so dark...you took...pleasure from the horrors that you watched," Mikey was sobbing, his words so mangled, Donnie could almost not understand them. He didn't even know how he could change into such a...such a monster. That's what he was. He was a monster. "I had an...an infection..." Mikey continued. "And I fell into a fever...but when I awoke...you...you were gone...and so was my arm..." Mikey took a few deep breaths in. "I've hardly seen you since...just passing glimpses...but that smile...that...that cruel, cruel smile...I'll...I'll never forget it..."

Donnie backed away from his brothers, looking at his own hands. How could he? How could he hold his brother with so much blood on his hands? How could he when he knew what he was going to do?

He could hear Leo and Raph coming. They were going to see him, they knew what he was capable of. No wonder they all had met him with such...skepticism...they only knew him as a monster...

The door opened, but Donnie didn't know if Leo and Raph were talking or arguing. All the sounds seemed to meld together. He just had to get away. He had to leave. Pushing his way passed his older brothers, he turned to look at Mikey. The tears were gone, but the gaze asked a single question: Was he really going to leave? Was he going to abandon them again? Was he going to cause them more pain?

It was then that he knew he couldn't. He couldn't do that to them. So slowly he sank down the wall, staring with empty eyes at his family. His vision blacked over, and for a few seconds, he finally found peace.

* * *

Donnie awoke to a delicious smell wafting into his room. It was pizza- but not just any pizza. It was his favorite, he could tell. Pineapple and ham...but his brothers hated that! Why would they...unless...

Donnie bolted from his room, straight for the kitchen. They were all there, small grins etched on their faces. Until they saw him. They raced for him, his three brothers, sitting him down solemnly. Mikey served the pizza up, beaming under Donnie's gaze. "Surprise?" He whispered.

Donnie tried to smile. He really did. But how could he? Not when Mikey's last words to him were how he would never forget how cruel it was...

"What's wrong?" Mikey was pleading, looking back and forth between their older brothers.

"Nothing..." Donnie murmured. It was a lie if he ever heard one, and his brothers knew it too. But they weren't going to question him. Not right now. They already had enough questions as it was, but they didn't want to flood him. They knew how fragile he was, no matter how much he wanted to deny it.

"Donatello," Splinter entered the room. He bore only grief in his countenance, and he seemed to have aged in just the short amount of time Donnie had been out. He placed a paw on Donnie's shoulder. "I am glad to see you have awakened."

"Sensei," Donnie bowed his head in shame. "I-"

"No words right now my son," Splinter pretended to smile. "You need to relax. Enjoy what your brothers have done for you."

Donnie gazed around, and realized he had not taken everything in. It wasn't just what his brothers had done, it was that they were there. His brothers were there, and so was their father. They were all together as a family.

* * *

**A/N: So, for once, I don't have a lot to say here. I worked on this in between brain shut downs, chores, school, and et cetera. I'm asking you to review please, if you would be so nice. Yep. That about covers it. Oh, and PLEASE REVIEW! I'm begging! Okay, enough begging already :P I'm good now. Thanks :)**


	8. Beyond Any Measure

**A/N: Now I know I'm spamming. Three chapters in two days? If that's not spam, I don't know what is XD. And to think, I'm planning on posting Chapter Nine tomorrow/later today (depends on how you see it). Anyways, I hope you guys enjoy this! **

* * *

Donnie took a small bite from his pizza. "Thanks guys," He smiled weakly, choking down his meal. Usually he loved this, but right now...right now it tasted like cardboard. Or dust. Dusty cardboard. His throat felt like it was closing up, threatening to suffocate him. He coughed, not even meaning too. All of his family was watching him, staring, waiting. So he took another bite, but began coughing from that too.

Mikey's face fell, and he pulled Donnie's plate away from him. "You don't have to eat...no one is making you..." The look on Mikey's face...it was disappointment. Donnie had disappointed him. He had let him down. How could he have broken his promise so quickly? Did his word mean nothing to him?

"It's okay," Donnie reached for his plate, but coughed yet again. Something was clearly wrong...absolutely, horrendously wrong. He tried his best to stifle it, but he couldn't. He couldn't stop. It made his head throb, and he struggled to breathe. His father was beside him, he knew because he could feel him hitting the back of his shell, but nothing was helping. Mikey had started whimpering, and Donnie was shaking, whether from exhaustion or fear, he wasn't sure.

He felt something come up into his mouth. As soon as that happened, the coughing stopped. He could breathe. Whatever was in his mouth wasn't a lot, but it tasted like copper, and was thick. Instinctively he brought his hand up, and looked at that substance.

Blood. It was...it was blood. He was coughing up blood!

Gazing up at his Sensei, he wanted to cry. He was dying. There was no other explanation. They had all seen it. They saw his blood on his fingers, they all saw the problems. Whatever was going on, it was killing him.

"I-" Donnie swallowed, trying to collect his words. He couldn't focus, he couldn't think. He couldn't do anything. "I-" He gulped again, searching for the words that alluded him.

They said nothing. They spoke not one word. Mikey didn't even utter a sound. The were all...they were all in shock. Their brother was dying. It was evident now. The funny, science loving turtle. He was...he was...

Donnie tore away from his father, fleeing to the sanctuary of his lab. He didn't even hesitate as he bolted the door shut. It didn't matter. He had know what was wrong with him. He had to fix all of this. Who knew what repercussions would come from this? Who truly knew how his family would fall apart? He didn't. And that was what scared him. How could he protect them from himself?

Donnie leaned against the concrete wall. He wanted to give up right then and there. Everything was his fault...he killed them all...even if he wasn't trying too...he killed them all...they were gone...all because of him...

Sitting in his trusty old rolling chair, Donnie began to cry. He couldn't keep on doing this. He couldn't keep on living with the guilt. Knowing that everything, absolutely everything, had happened...would happen...because of him...it was to much to bear. He gazed at his sleeping computer, the black screen reflecting his face. He looked so pale, his once bright eyes dull, and empty. No, not empty. They were filled, but filled with fear. Fear and guilt. They were now what made up his existence. Fear of the unknown, guilt of the known. He couldn't rely on the stability of what he knew- it hurt. But he couldn't look forward to learning what he didn't know- it made him afraid. Nothing was comforting anymore.

What hurt worse than anything else though, was the thought of hurting his family. He had said it once before, he would say it again, he would go through this for a thousand lifetimes if it meant them not suffering. And he had meant it.

The only question remained was...how was he going to fix all of this? He was dying...or was he? Hadn't Mikey said something...something like this...what was it? Why couldn't he remember? He was so angry at all this...and yet...it was tearing him down faster than he could build himself back up.

Build himself back up. He had to build himself up. What better way than to start from the beginning? But what was the beginning? Where was all this coming from? From his inability to rely on his family?

Donnie glanced at the barred door. He was shutting them out, pulling away from them. Like that would help any. But it was helping...he didn't have to see them...he didn't have to see the disappointment...

Looking back and forth between the door and his reflections, Donnie felt his eyelids drooping. He couldn't fall asleep. He wasn't even tired...he was so tired...so exhausted...sleep...sleep would give him peace...but he had slept so much already...it was...it was a side effect. Whatever was wrong with him, it was making him want to sleep. The drowsiness, the nightmares, they were all side effects. He had to fight through. They were only nightmares. Only nightmares.

The repeating in his mind slowly came to a stop, blending together. He couldn't focus. He just couldn't make his mind work like it should have. He barely saw his lab door open, a key in Splinter's hand. He watched, in what seemed like slow motion, his family running to him. As they lifted him up, he took note of the blood on the floor. It was dribbling out of his mouth. Why hadn't he noticed that before? Why hadn't he seen his ow deterioration?

His mind, it was erasing itself. Not only could he not form coherent thoughts, or respond to his precious world around him, but he couldn't even understand what his father was doing. He was fine, or was he? Everything was fading in and out, and although he could hear his brothers pleasing with him to stay awake, he could not. The darkness beckoned to him so much, it would unreasonable to not listen to it. As his sight darkened to nothingness, Donatello finally found what he was looking for. The briefest moment of tranquility.

* * *

"Donnie?" Leo snapped Donnie out of his daydream. "You were saying?" Donnie couldn't blame Leo for getting his attention. They were in the middle of planning the biggest thing since Shredder had taken over their pathetic planet, and Leo also relied on sound. Without anything to hear, he was left in the dark. Or at least, more so than usual.

"Sorry," Donnie muttered. "I guess I was just thinking. My mind wandered."

Raph chuckled. He actually chuckled. "You remember that one time you were telling us a joke, and your "mind wandered", and you got so completely side-tracked, that you never gave us the answer?"

Leo let out a small chortle, a smile spreading across his face. "Yeah...good times."

Mikey was the only who didn't respond with pleasantries. Instead, he stiffened, staring straight at Donnie. Ever since Donnie had nearly run out on him, he'd been acting different. He wasn't sure what to make of his brother. "Guys, we have to focus. We have an important mission at hand, and you all are making light of it. This is not the attitude we keep on the battlefield. That kinda stuff gets you killed!"

Leo sighed. "You're right," He stood up straighter, his grin disappearing. He looked just a as dangerous, and lethal, as ever. The one moment he had had in years had been ruined.

Raph just shook his head. "Bunch of knuckle-skulls."

Leo tightened his stance, and he seemed to absentmindedly turn to Raph. Raph's upper lip curled up, and his hand went to his sai. How many times had things like this happened?

Donnie placed a hand on Leo's shoulder, and gave Raph a stare that told him not to do whatever he had planned. Raph nodded in compliance, and faced the table. "So what's the plan Bucketbrain?"

Donnie gulped silently as that name passed through his skull. Raph hadn't forgotten his supposed despised nickname. It was just like old times, Raph teasing him about being a brainiac, Leo studying what they had to do, Mikey goofing off. Except...Mikey wasn't goofing off. He wasn't doing anything.

"Donnie?" Leo asked again.

"Sorry...I just...I was thinking..." Donnie had to keep his thoughts together, keep them in one place, on their one true target. he couldn't get distracted.

"Again?" Raph snorted. "We really should have gotten that plan out of you before Mikey-"

"Before I what?!" Mikey growled. There was so much tension building up in him, so much anger and hatred. "Before I told him what had happened?!" Mikey pointed to Donnie, his finger shaking rapidly. "Before I spilled out family secrets?! No, wait, let me guess, you wanted to tell him! You wanted to be the one lose everything, to have to bring up everything you despised the most just because?! Just because-" Mikey looked at Donnie. His eyes were no doubt wide. He hadn't considered how much it had actually cost his brother...to pour out his soul...just for him...

"I'm sorry," Donnie whispered. "I'm sorry...all of you...I promise I-"

"Don't make promises you can't keep," Raph interrupted him. "I mean, you know, you don't really know if you can keep it little brother. Don't let yourself down that way. To much is at stake for that. All of this, all of us. Yourself. So just don't do it Donnie."

"But I-" Donnie found himself being interrupted yet again, but this time by Leo.

"Trust me," Leo said. "Trust me that you don't want to do that."

Donnie nodded, but he made the promise. Not to them, but to himself. It seemed that only Mikey knew what he did, and he was...was proud of it. He wanted to hear that his brother would fix everything, that with nothing more than words, life would render itself under Donatello's control. It was not a promise that any other would know, but it was a promise he was bound to keep. A promise that would be kept beyond any measure.

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**A/N: So, uh, I was wondering, if you are reading this, why can't you review? I'm getting so many hits...and so few reviews...please review? Please? It would mean so much to me...and you know, even if you don't, I'll still write this. It's just that reviews are so nice! Oh, and i aplogize that this is a shorter chapter, I just didn't want to extend it any further.  
So what are you guys' thoughts on what's happening to Donnie? Between the blood, insanity, fatigue, nightmares, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera, you have to have some thought on it!  
Oh, gees, I am so tired. Yet again. It is late, and although I did just post another chapter a few hours ago, I'm trying to get as many out as possible. In all a sense...I could finish this in one to two weeks. Yep, you heard me right. One to two weeks. Is the story really drawing to a close? Or am I just tired and going crazy? I guess you'll just have to wait and see!  
**


	9. Before Their Very Eyes

**A/N: Whoop! Yet another chapter! I bet you guys are excited about that ;) Anyways, I have say, THANK YOU! We now have 89 reviews! On 8 chapters! That's just amazing! But can you guys surprise me and make it 100 before we hit Chapter Ten? (Which hopefully will be posted later tomorrow...) Anyways, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but this story is drawing to a close. That's right, it's almost done. How is that even possible? I'm sure you're asking that. And it's quite simple: The plot is almost over. But don't worry! There is going to be a sequel! And what angsty episode will it be based on? That's right! Good Genes! Do you guys remember that? Well, that might make you mull over it for a little bit ;)**

* * *

Donnie smiled slightly as he pulled up a small model that represented the Shrellraiser. "We're going to use this to crash through the perimeter. It's still intact, and it can take a beating. We'll just blast through the wires and walls. It won't take long for us to get to Shredder's inner sanctum."

"Inner sanctum?" Raph teased, but it was light hearted. "Sounds nerdy," He grinned, his one eye sparkling.

Leo chuckled, but kept his attention on Donnie. "Even if we get through, won't we have Foot Ninja, Karai legions, and Shredder to fight through?"

"And Karai too," Mikey added solemnly.

Leo stiffened at that, but remained poised. "My point still stands- how can the five of us take all of that down?"

Donnie grimaced, looking at April. "It's uh...it's going to be the four of us," He closed his eyes, waiting for the reprimanding. "April's going to stay here. Between her and myself, we've managed to hack into Shredder's mainframe. When we're ready, we're going to signal a...vaction if you will, dispensing the Foot Soldiers temporarily. Byt the time they realize what's going on, it'll already be too late. But I need somebody here that I trust to trigger it. So...she's going to be taking of the Foot in a way," Donnie gave them the only smile he could manages, but it was a pathetic and weak one.

"Which means we're going to fight Karai, and her legions, while you take on the Shredder?" Raph scoffed at this. He acted as if it were unbelievable. But Donnie believed it. He believed in them.

"If you guys can distract them long enough, I can get into position to..." Donnie paused, and for once, he realized what he was committing himself too. He was going to kill the Shredder. He was going to kill a breathing, living, human being. He tried to tell himself that it was to save everyone on this wretched world, and that it was revenge for all the people who had died during. He was going to avenge Master Splinter. He was going to right the wrong. He was going to show his brothers that he was strong, that he could be counted on, that he would not let them down. He wasn't going to be weak. "...to take Shredder out," He finished, gazing at each one of his brothers. They had to know he could do this. They had to know that they could rely on him. That he would come through.

"You?" Mikey said quietly. Nobody seemed convinced by his words. "Donnie...you're...you're just a kid."

"But I'm still a ninja," Donnie wasn't going to let them doubt him. He was going to fix this, with or without them.

"If I remember correctly," Raph stated, "Weren't you the pacifist of the family?" He froze after he spoke that word. Family. Were they still a family? No, they hadn't been a family in a long, but there was hope. There was hope that the bonds could be mended. The could be a family again.

Donnie sighed. "Guys, I'm going to do whatever it takes to-...to get everything back to normal. Or at least, as normal as possible."

"I say we go with it," Leo, oh big brother Leo, he stood by his side. He knew Donnie was going to do this anyways, and he was going to be there for him. "What do we have lose? We can't keep living like this. We have to...we have to..." Leo swallowed, as if he was pushing down his pride. "We have to be brothers again," His words stunned the crowd around him. April even let out a small gasp.

"I agree," Raph added, placing his hand on Leo's shoulder. "We've been fighting each other so long. We should have stood together. But me, I was bein' stupid. Always was, and I guess I always will be, but it doesn't matter right now. It doesn't matter cause...cause we're brothers."

"Brother forever," Mikey murmured. His baby blues seemed to flash, like he regained something that had been lost for a long time. A grin spread across his face, a huge, goofy grin that was contagious. It only took seconds for them all to join in, and laughter was spread around. Then Leo grew serious.

"We should...we should see Master Splinter. He would like that," Everyone grew silent, nodding in agreement. Donnie hated to think it, but in a way, he wanted to see his father's grave. Where had he been laid to rest? He had not visited the site since coming here...

It was unanimous. After they would go pay respects to their father and sensei, they would carry out their mission.

Donnie could tell that Leo had traveled this path often. His brother ran his hand over a torn down wall, repeating a tradition that he had no doubt carried over the years. He didn't even hesitate. It was the surest thing he knew.

Leo had been the one to help April bury Sensei...he had been the one to dig the hole...tears streaming down his face...and even when it was enough...he wouldn't stop. He continued until the sun had dangerously come up, and April had to force him out of the tomb. He had been the one to place Hamato Yoshi in, and he was the one who had dropped the earth upon the body. Their father's body. And he couldn't even see.

They came to a halt. The only marker was Splinter's crystalized mutagen staff, cemented into the ground. April had done this so none would forget. It was a kind act on her part.

Nobody knew what to say. Donnie wasn't even sure what to think. Although he had known that his father was dead...and that he was responsible for it...he had pushed that far back in his mind. He had enough that he already had to focus on. But here he was, standing on the ground that held his father. His father, the one who had cared for him since he was a child, and infant really. The one who had encouraged his love for learning, the one who took risks to help satisfy his son's growing need for more knowledge. And how had Donnie repaid him? Like this...by leaving him in the ground to rot as nothing more than a faded memory...

There was a tingling sensation that spread throughout Donnie's core. It had started in his chest, extending to every part of his body. It was unnatural, and shocking. It was like when his foot had fallen asleep, but every single muscle trembled like that. It came in waves, and although he tried to fight it, it seemed to be pulling him away. His mind drifted, and he sunk to the ground. He grabbed a handful of ground, and tears dripped down his face as he attempted to suppress it. Memories of his father, reaching out to him with a guiding hand, flooded his mind. He missed him so much, it was unbearable. How could they go through this without his blessing? He would show them the flaws, he would help him perfect his work. How could he trust his own self, with all of his faults, to create the ideal plan? How was he to be confident that it would work?

Mikey placed a hand on his shoulder. "It's okay bro. You can let it out," He tried to ease the pain, but his words meant nothing to Donnie. He was going to fail. He could feel it. It would be best to back out now, but he couldn't! He had already assured them...but was his brothers' lives worth his dignity? His honor? No, it wasn't. But the only that could go wrong was if they failed...if he failed...and that wasn't going to happen.

His body nearly convulsed at the next shock. It was like he was being electrocuted, set on fire, and drowning all at the same time. Everything began to go black, but he could feel his brothers helping carry him back to the headquarters. He could hear them telling him that everything was going to be alright. He knew he was sobbing, and there was nothing he could do about it. With that, he was gone.

* * *

"One...two...three!" Donnie barely heard those words as his body thrashed around. He could not control it, he could not focus. He only heard the words. "Is he breathing?!"

"No!" Another voice shouted. "Again!" He felt a pressure on his chest, and a tingling sensation. It seemed so familiar...he couldn't put his finger on it.

"Is he breathing?!" The first person repeated, sounding even more stressed than before. There was silence that followed that, and a slight sob.

"No...Sensei...what do we do?!" He...he sounded so familiar. He sounded like...Raph? Was Raph really crying? Why was he crying?

Sensei was quiet. He was, oddly, to quiet. "We...we tried our best my son..." Tried their best about what? What were they talking about?

"No!" Raph shouted, and Donnie felt a fist pummel into his chest. "No! I won't let it!" The pounding continued for a few seconds, and Donnie desperately wanted Raph to stop, but he couldn't move. He...he couldn't move...he couldn't open his eyes...he couldn't breathe!

Donnie flew up, gasping for oxygen. The airy gold filled his lungs, and started putting his throbbing head at ease. He couldn't seem to think...this seemed so...so like deja vu.

Donnie!" Raph shouted, grabbing his brother, and hugging him so tightly, he almost lost his breath again. "Don't-" Raph spoke in between cries. "Ever. Do. That. Again!"

Donnie only blinked. He saw Leo and Mikey approach, Mikey's tear stained eyes still wet, and in fact, getting wetter by the second. Leo hadn't even kept himself together, and had broken down so bad that Splinter had to get Raph to help him. But help him with what?

That's when it hit him. His father...his brothers...they had brought him back. They had brought him back from death's grip. But worse still, they had seen him perish. They had seen him die before their very eyes.

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**A/N: Anyways, as usual, this is where I start begging for reviews. I mean, there are so many hits on this, why aren't you people reviewing? Could you just take like, thirty seconds and "This is good!", or "I like this!". Or maybe, if you're SUPER NICE, you could give me a full blown critique? I would be so appreciative! But even if you don't, thanks so much for reading! If it weren't for you guys, I wouldn't be writing this. (Which is another reason why a review would be nice...but oh well.) Anyways, thanks again! See ya in the next chapter! (Or if you review, I'll send you a PM!) Bye!**


	10. Booyakasha!

**A/N: Hi everybody! I know I said I would get this up yesterday, but a lot of things prohibited that. So although I'm not supposed to be doing this on a Monday, I'm getting away with it (thank you Dad!). Anyways, I want you guys to give yourself a huge applaud! Not only did we reach 100 reviews with 9 chapters, but we surpassed it with 102! Thank you guys so much! That means a lot to me.  
On a second note, I also have to say I think it's so cool how I've watched the views on this thing climbed. One time I clicked the little check button, and I was so surprised. But then, I clicked it again, and it jumped by 6 views! It's been sporadic, sure, but I've watched it climb :D That's been really cool.  
Oh, and this story has been extended by two chapters. Yeah, yeah, I know, but two extra chapters won't hurt, will it? I mean, you guys do want the battle scene coming up, right? Thought so! Anyways, I hope you guys enjoy this!**

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"Donnie?!" Raph looked deep into his brother's reddish-brown eyes. Donnie tried to form words, but he still could not form a thought to even answer Raph. They all wanted to know if he was okay. But how could they be assured if he couldn't even speak? "Donnie?" Raph repeated, but it was quieter this time.

Donnie just searched those bright green eyes. There was so much life in them. So much belief. So much need. He needed Donnie to be okay. He needed him. "Uhnn..." Donnie moaned, turning, moving himself away from that gaze. He couldn't be counted on. He was a failure. Or was he? Had he not brought his family back together? Or at least...most of it? His brothers were together...together...brother forever...

He hiccuped, and his chest tightened. He could feel the bile rising into his throat, and he shook as he looked for a bucket. But it was to late. The wretched stench of vomit filled his nostrils, spewing out of both his nose and mouth. There wasn't a lot- he hadn't eaten more than a few bites of pizza, but it was red. Dark scarlet, if he wanted to be more accurate. And accuracy was important. Blood was so mingled in it that it almost overpowered the smell with its own. It covered the front of his shell, and he hiccuped again.

Splinter already had a towel, and was cleaning him up. He felt so useless. So powerless. So weak. His muscles were trembling, and he couldn't even hardly raise his eyes to face his father. "I'm sorry..." They were the first words that came out, and he meant them. He was sorry for everything. He was sorry for being the Judas betrayer, he was sorry for killing them. He was sorry for causing so many problems. He was sorry for puking all over the place.

"Don't be my son," Splinter stroked his shell, trying to subside the pain. It wasn't helping. His stomach felt like it had been turned inside out, and his head throbbed. A migraine was slinking into his skull, threatening to crack it with every passing moment. A sob escaped his lips. He was tired of crying. He was tired of being here like this. He was tired of living. But nothing was going to change.

He hated himself.

He hated himself with such a passion, that nothing could compare. He would love to be as dead as his family. They were dead. They had been killed. But...but they were here...it was a dream. That's what was happening. He was dreaming. He was clinging on to the last piece of hope he had. The hope, the wish, the if that his family was okay. The thought that he could repair everything. He had said he would take away their pain. And that was what he was doing. It was all in his head. They weren't real. That's why they couldn't console him. They were just a figment of his imagination. It his way of dealing with it. With the knowledge of what happened to them. He didn't have to be afraid anymore. Then why was he?

Even if this was a dream, it hurt. There was pain. There was the mental torture. But it didn't matter anymore. He was suffering for them. He had too.

Donnie looked up at Mikey. His little brother was crying, holding onto Leo for dear life, who was visibly shaking. They were trying to comfort each other, but they weren't doing a very good job. Mikey reached out for him, and then Donnie, he made the choice.

He turned away from his brother. He turned away from his family. He wasn't going to cause them anymore pain. He had to deal with torment on his own. He couldn't rely on them. He just couldn't. It didn't matter if they were real or fiction anymore.

They had lured him here. They had...taken him away from his brothers...the brothers that needed him...the brothers that were dead...the brothers that were going against the Shredder...he had to go back to them. He could see them in his mind.

Donnie squeezed his eyes tight as he cried. He willed himself to join his brethren. They were the ones that needed him. They were the ones that cared. He could feel them calling out. And he went to them.

* * *

Everything was dark, but Donnie wasn't out. He was drifting in the space between time, in between the two worlds. He watched his two families, both calling out to him. Here he had a choice. It was going to be the choice that wasn't going to affect himself for the rest of his life. Which family did he choose? Which family did he save?

Donnie closed his eyes. He knew who needed him the most. He made his choice. Opening his eyes slowly, he saw Mikey standing over him. "You ready for this bro?"

Donnie nodded grimly. "I'm sorry," He whispered, pulling himself together.

"Don't be," Leo spoke solemnly. "We...we all went through it..."

Raph just huffed. "Come on guys. We need to get on with this," Climbing into the Shellraiser, he stomped on a cockroach that had dared to crawl across the floor. He hadn't screamed, there had been no fear in his eyes. He had hardly even taken note of it. There were more important things, more terrifying things than just an insect.

Donnie took the driver's seat. He revved up the engine, and punched the pedal full throttle. The wheels spun rapidly, and Leo clung ahold of his seat. It had clearly been a long time since he last road in a vehicle.

Donnie could remember the first time he had introduced the Shrellraiser to his brothers. He had entrusted Leonardo to drive, as he would be less reckless. Or so he thought.

A slight smile threatened to cross Donnie's lips. Despite having never driven before, Leo was a master. He spun donuts like an expert, spiking all of their adrenalin.

They approached Shredder's fortress. Donnie braced himself for the impact. They crashed through the first wall, and continued through.

His adrenalin was up, just like the same day Leo drove. But this time was different. This time was preparation. This time...well this time actually mattered.

Whether it took seconds or minutes to finally break through the last wall, Donnie didn't know. He just threw the brake on, and leapt out alongside his brothers. They were all determined to take down the Shredder, even if it killed them.

The next few moments were completely still. The dust cleared, and the sight before Donnie shocked him. The Shredder sat on his throne of sorts, Karai at his side. But the shock...the utter revelation...was how old the Shredder was. Time had not been kind to Oroku Saki. He was thin and gauntly, a white beard addressing his chin. It reminded Donnie of Master Splinter.

Shredder stood up slowly. He no longer wore his traditional helmet. Instead, he simply wore a white robe, once again mimicking Hamato Yoshi. He moved as if everything pained him. He was no doubt plagued with the ailments of the aged.

Donnie was wrong. In just a split second, that old man flew toward him and his brothers with the speed of a man one-fourth his age. He stayed in the shadows, and Donnie was the first one to feel the sting of his shurikens. They grazed his arms, taunting him.

As he defended himself, he lost sight of Karai. She had vanished, like all ninjas should. He could feel her presence though. It was thick, and evil, much like Shredder's. She didn't have to say anything for him to know that she was there.

Then she struck. Donnie could see the blades coming at him. He cringed as he expected to be killed right there.

But it was to early. He couldn't. He had a mission. He had brothers to take care of. Dropping to the ground right as the swords missed his face, Donnie slid his leg out to trip Karai. She leapt, a glint in her eyes. She was enjoying this. She was going to enjoy killing him.

It was ironic that she did not see his brother coming at her. Leo charged, his sixth sense in tune, and he clashed his katanas against hers.

Donnie grinned. Leo could handle himself. Now all he had to do was take care of Shredder...

Raph was pitted against the crazed maniac. He was putting his all into it. He had too. He was the spirit of vengeance against this monster, and he was enacting that revenge now.

A battle cry erupted the silence. A loud, obnoxious battle cry that never had made the enemy cower in fear, but instead laugh. And it had been so many years since it had been shouted.

Donnie saw what had happened. Mikey, his precious little brother, had climbed atop the Shrellraiser, and was now leaping onto a Karai bot. "Booyakasha!"

* * *

**A/N: I was somewhat torn up over this chapter, and I hope it came out okay. I mean, I want to portray Donnie's...withdrawal from his family, but at the same time, show how, in a way, he is still standing beside them. I think you can see how different Donnie is in each dimension of sorts.  
Oh, and for all of you still reading this, there is a special preview image waiting for you on deviantART! *wink, wink; nudge, nudge* It's on my account (YAY-Productions) under the Folder "Slumber's Torture". You might like it ;)  
Sorry if this chapter seemed a little shorter than the rest. I really wanted to end it with Mikey's "Booyakasha", and I didn't want the fight scene until the next chapter.  
Again, please review!**


	11. Where Are My Brothers?

**A/N: THIS IS A WARNING! PLEASE READ! I put my all into this chapter, so it may be a little...gruesome? At least compared to what I normally write...*cringes*...so I'm only saying this once. Those with weak stomachs, turn away now. Those who had a hard time with Chapter One "Just A Nightmare", turn away now. This scene is practically that but...different. If you choose to read, you'll see. But really, don't if you're uncomfortable.  
Secondly thank you guys so much for the reviews! 114 on 10 chapters? That is friggin' amazing! You guys have made me so happy :D And you'll like me happy ;) I post chapters when I'm happy.  
That reminds me. I apologize for not getting a chapter up yesterday. We went swimming, and when we got home, my younger brother got me in trouble for something I did not do. You know how it is, blah blah blah. Anyways, I'll do my best to get the last three chapters of this story up tomorrow! Thanks again for reading!**

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Donnie grinned as Mikey leapt atop a Karai bot, bashing her head repeatedly with his nunchuk. He had a crazy, wild grin on his face, just like he always had when in a battle. It didn't matter that his and his brothers' lives were at stake, or that the entire world rested on their shoulders. All that mattered now was that he kept his chin up, that he was optimistic, that he kept the good cheer moving on. He had to be upbeat for his brothers. It was just like old times.

Old times. Donnie wasn't even sure what that meant anymore. His mind...he didn't even want to bother with thinking of all the anomalies that he was experiencing. Was he really just settling in here? Was he really referring back to when they were teenagers? Wasn't he still one?

Yes, he was, but it wasn't important. What was important was their ongoing battle. Leo was currently sword to sword with Karai, the clashing metal never ceasing it's ringing in the halls. The were arguing with each other, and words were passed that made Donnie question Karai's loyalties in times past.

Again, referring to things behind them. Why was everything being brought up like this? Because, he tried to reason within himself, everyone knows this is where it's going to end. One team was going to stand over the slain bodies of the other, reveling in their victory. And that team was going to be him and his brothers.

Donnie knew he had to do something. Despite several seconds having gone by since Leo broke Karai's concentration from him, it was seconds that he had wasted. Which brother did he turn to help?

Mikey was horribly outnumbered, the legions surrounding him just like that. As a legion. Leo as handling Karai, but they were both pushing each other to their limits. Raph...dear, hotheaded Raph had immediately thrown himself at Shredder.

This was not how the plan was supposed to be at all. Raph was supposed to take on Karai- the obvious past between her and Leo would be disastrous. Leo was supposed to help Mikey with the legions, not leave him alone. And Donnie, well, he was to go up against Oroku Saki. It was going to a swift battle, in and out. They were supposed to just kill them both and get it over with.

It was at that point that Donnie knew he had to go into action. He couldn't just sit and watch his brothers fight- not along, not again. He was to be here for them, to help them, to fight alongside them like the team they were. Now he had to adapt. Stick to the plan, or meld right in and do what his brothers were doing.

Master Splinter had always said that a plan only lasts as long as it doesn't come in contact with the enemy. After that, you just had to wing it. But Donnie wasn't one to wing it. He always had had a hard time adjusting to change. It just wasn't in him.

Looking around, he knew he only had two options. Take Raph's place in the plan and help Mikey, or take Raph's place in the current fight and take on Shredder.

He made his choice. Whether that choice was right or wrong, it would yet to be determined, but he was confident in it. He was confident in his plan. Perhaps to confident.

Donnie leapt near Raphael, and his brother took the hint. Taking his sais and striking against Shredder's claws, he dropped and rolled out of the way. Donnie pulled out his own weapon.

It wasn't his naginata bo staff. That was a pacifist's toy. It was not for someone who had one lethal mission. He had, instead, replaced it with a Kamayari- much to the displeasure of his brothers. They had insisted that now was not the time to change weapons, that they needed to be at their best. He had disagreed, of course, stating with what he believed to be common sense. He needed a better weapon. He always did. And what was better that a weapon like this? It was light, and agile like his bo, but it was more dangerous. Instead of just being a plain staff, it was like the Grim Reaper's scythe, with a bonus spear tip at the end. It was menacing, and it made a point. A point that none of his brothers liked.

Shredder did not seem surprised at all. He wasn't even startled by the new appearance, but that didn't bother Donnie. He had a job, and he was going to finish it, and finish it soon.

Being face to face with Oroku Saki was different than Donnie had imagined. He hadn't expected him to seem so...human. So vulnerable. Well, vulnerable was a strong word. It didn't matter that the man was old, and so feeble looking, it was the fact that he was swinging claws at Donnie's face and body that made him strong.

Donnie flipped his Kamayari around his head like he had done with his staff so many times. The balance was off, one side being heavier than the other, but he focused on maintaining his stability. He grasped the middle of the rod tightly, swinging it down, nearly slicing Shredder's ankles off. His opponent moved fast, and it was only his pure white robe that suffered from Donnie's wrath. It's hem caught ahold of the scythe's curved blade, and it tore, exposing Shredder's calf.

Donnie hesitated for a quick second. He couldn't explain why he did. He just felt the need to make sure his brothers were okay. He had been so consumed, that he had nearly forgot that his brothers were in fights of their own.

That hesitation would be the beginning of the end.

Donnie watched in awe at the masterpiece of the cooperation between Raph and Mikey. Mikey was laughing and making jabs as he always did, and Raph was unleashing any anger that had built up onto the bots. Several lay sparking or in pieces around them, but more were pouring into the room.

Shredder swung at Donnie, and he barely missed the attack. He was running on adrenalin, his body already wanting to give out on him. But he wasn't going to be weak. Not right now. He couldn't afford to be.

Making a wild slice at his enemy, Donnie sheared off Shredder's beard. This did catch the maniac by surprise, and then that surprise turned into anger. He roared, a noise that no one would expect from such a fail man, but something that Donnie had been counting on. That single second, that one pause would affect everything. As the Shredder let out his mighty bellow, Donnie brought his scythe from his side, and brought it up swiftly. Another half inch, and his worst adversary would be finished.

That half inch never came. A blood curdling scream had echoed out across the open throne room, making everyone freeze.

It was Mikey. Donnie watched in a perpetual, motionless fear. The Karai bots had multiplied, picking out and surrounding Michelangelo. Despite his impressive ninjutsu, he could not keep up with them. They had practically piled on top of him, their blades and saws tearing at his skin.

When they pulled away, Donnie wanted to cry and puke. His brother's mangled body lay perfectly still, blood seeping onto the ground below. Not a noise came out of him, and Donnie feared the worst.

It was obvious the guilt that settled on Raph. He had been Mikey's protector. He had let Mikey down down. Mikey was dead because of him.

As Raph flew at the emotionless metal creatures, the fighting resumed. Shredder and Karai acted like nothing had happened, but Leo, Raph, and Donnie knew. They felt the loss. Their brother's spirit had departed them.

This had most effect on Leo. He had been there for his father's death, holding his hand as it grew cold and stiff, and thirty years later almost to the date, he had to hear his little brother's piercing screams as he was mauled to death. Something snapped inside Leo.

He swung rapidly and uncoordinated at Karai, his efforts having all the heart that was needed, but none of the mental capacity. His only plan was to avenge his brother. His rapid, short sighted burst made him stumble, and it was that mistake that Karai used to her advantage.

As Leo literally flew blindly around, his ninja sense having left him, making him as blind as he truly was, Karai silently crept behind him. Racing at him with full speed, she drove her katanas into his hard shell. The crack that reverberated was just as bad as Mikey's screamed.

But Leo wasn't Mikey. He didn't cry out, he didn't let the world know he was gone. He only let out a small, indescribable noise, almost like a yelp, that would tear anyone's heart. Anyone's but Karai. She used her swords inside Leo as leverage, bringing them together before pulling them part. It only made the gaping hole in Leo's shell larger, and blood spurt from it onto her. Slowly drawing her katans out of him, Karai turned away, knowing her mission was done. Leo was dead before he hit the ground.

"LEO!" Raph yelled from across the room. Leaping on top of a legion's head, he flipped, landing right in front of Karai. It was like she had come between a mother bear and her cub.

Donnie felt his heart rupture. Here he was, locked in battle with Shredder, who was nothing more than an elderly male, when he should be with Mikey and Leo. It wasn't right. It wasn't fair!

Donnie heard Raph's menacing growl at the murderess. She was a butcher who had her face carved on the same machines that had killed their younger brother, and she was the one who had slain Leo in cold blood. Hamato Raphael was not about to let that go unpunished. Her sentence: death, in the most painful way possible.

Taking a deep, unsteady breath in, Donnie once again faced Oroku Saki. Shredder had a cruel, inhuman grin on his face that told Donnie he was pleased with what had happened. He had enjoyed Michelangelo's screams, and he had relished Leonardo's agonizing end. He was looking forward to Raphael's demise, but even more still, he was anticipating Donatello's execution. He was truly a very sick minded monster. And he dared to call them animals.

He was playing with Donnie. Toying him just long enough so Karai could take out his brothers. That's what she had been raised to do. She had studied each one of their fighting styles to the point where she could predict their next moves. They both knew them to well.

Donnie knew that he and Raph had to work together. They had to stick by each other's sides until the end. They had to be there for one another. They couldn't leave each other alone. They just couldn't.

Donatello then Mikey's favorite move. Flipping backwards, he tried to spring to Raphael. He tried his best. But his Kamayari weighed him down, and he wasn't an expert at this like Mikey was. He flipped, slipping on the smooth floor, barely dodging Shredder's advances.

"Watch Donatello-san!" Those were the only words Shredder had spoken to Donnie, and they were not words that comforted him. He knew what Oroku Saki had meant. Wheeling around, he barely saw Karai's fluid movement as she drove her swords into Raph. She had killed him the same way she had Leo.

Standing, she was covered in glistening red, life substance. Leo's, Raph's, and hers, it didn't matter. She stared Donnie right in the eye, and smiled a coy and wicked grin.

But Raph wasn't finished. He had fallen, but moved his arms, dragging himself along the bloody ground. He draped an arm over Leo, and whispered his last words. "I tried my best Fearless...I'm sorry..." His eyes closed, and he too was gone. Donatello had just lost his last brother. His brothers...Raphael...Leonardo...Michelangelo...his father...Hamato Yoshi...They were all gone. Oroku Saki and Karai had killed them.

They had killed them all. They had killed his family.

Donatello lost himself in that moment. He flew into a raging savagery, charging Karai head long. He drew his Kamayari, and as she attempted to take a leap above his head, he brought it up. The spear tip pierced her abdomen briefly, drawing blood. She crumpled to the ground, but then stood up slowly, taking a place beside her master. She clutched her stomach, shaking slightly. If glares could kill, Donnie would be dead.

Staring back at Karai, Donnie shot her a look that rivaled her own. She almost withered under his gaze, and despite her age, she looked to Shredder for support. He merely gave her a nod, and strength seemed to fill her again.

Donnie processed all of this quickly before determining his next move. Shredder and Karai may have studied his brothers' moves to perfection, but they weren't ready for him. He looked to young and inexperienced, and although that was true, he carried something that they had given up on a long time ago. A vendetta. A blood feud.

Donnie melded into the shadows just as he had been taught, disappearing from his enemies' sight. They had a major disadvantage, being in the light like that. He merely had to throw them off guard.

And that he did. Running swiftly and quickly around them, he never let them onto his location. They threw shurikens, and a couple grazed him, but he didn't let it phase him. He had to avenge his brothers. He had to avenge his father.

He retaliated by striking out of the darkness. He made his first real hit on Shredder, and it was one that counted. He knocked the poor man's knees out from under him. The sickening crunch that echoed from the raw metal hitting bone almost made him remorseful.

Almost.

Oroku Saki fell to the ground, Karai standing guard. She was already fading, already seeing the gravity of the situation. Shredder was down. She was wounded. And there was a vengeful turtle seeking to kill them. The chances of them surviving were slim, and dropping.

Donnie couldn't help but grin as he saw he had the upper hand. Something inside him had lost control, and he was no longer Hamato Donatello. He was a beast.

Swinging his Kamayari around his head, Donatello struck out at Karai once again, but this time from behind. His scythe curved inside of her, coming out through her chest. He yanked it out, causing her to scream in pain. Crumpling to the ground, she could barely keep her eyes open enough to speak her last words. "Father...I...am finished..." Her head hit the concrete with a thud, blood trickling out of her mouth. Her blank eyes stared on, but she wasn't there anymore. Hopefully she was burning up in the pits below for her heinous crimes.

"Please..." Oroku Saki begged. His knees were broken no doubt, and he could hardly move without wincing. "I'm an old man...let me live just a little longer."

Donatello stepped in front of him, scoffing. "Your little longer is up," He brought down his weapon swift and hard, slicing Shredder's throat. It was a miracle his head did not come off.

Donatello stumbled away from Shredder's fallen body. Blood was everywhere. It was on the floor. It was on the walls. It was on him.

He didn't know what to do now. The mission...it was a success...but at the highest price...

Donnie's thoughts were interrupted by a noise. Whatever it was now had his full attention. Something had to have it. But that sound...it sounded like...a moan?

"D..Donnie?" The beaten body of Michelangelo shifted. He...he had called him!

Donnie rushed to his side, taking his one, good hand. "I'n here!"

"Where's Leo 'n Raph?" His voice...it was so pathetic...he was drowning in his own life essence.

"Mikey..." Donatello tried to choke back the tears as everything seemed to hit him full force. "They're...they're gone..."

Mikey let out a muffled sob, coughing some blood out. "You sure bro?"

"Karai...she..." Donnie searched for an answer. He just couldn't let it be this way.

"Please Donnie," His tone stabilized, and he stared his brother in the eyes. "Check for me. I want to know for sure."

Donnie already knew. He had watched them die. But then...he had watched Mikey die to...was there any hope left? Could his one wish come true? "Okay Mikey..." He whispered. "But stay here, okay? Don't leave me," He knew his brother didn't have long, and he was determined to be here to make the passing as smooth as possible.

As Donnie stood up, Mikey flashed him one of his signature smiles. It had always made everybody feel better, and even now, seeing that lifted Donnie's spirits in a way he didn't think was possible. "Can't go anywhere but up, and I don't plan on going there either," Going up...Mikey was dying. He was dying. He was...he was his last brother...his little brother...and he was dying! Donnie had always thought that when their times came...that Mikey would be the last to go...but that was wrong. It was wrong because Donnie had charged into here without a solid plan. He had signed his brothers' death warrants.

Cautiously approaching Leo's body, Donnie grimaced at the sight. He didn't want to be here. He didn't want to have to face them like this. They were gone for forever, and he...he was the one that had lived. Why him? Why couldn't he have died for them? It would have been right, after everything he had done to them. He had ruined their lives. And now he had killed them.

Donnie peeled Leo's sunglasses away from him. His once ocean blue eyes were now pale, and glassy looking. He hadn't been able to see anything in thirty years, and it was all his fault. All his fault...

Pulling Raph's dark red bandana away, Donnie's entire body shook. His brother's mask was dripping in the blood that it had been laying in. Leo's blood. How ironic that would be...blood brothers torn away from each from a fight that left one bleeding, and now, they were brothers again from the same blood. Except last time the price had been minimal to what had happened here.

"Mikey?" Donnie's voice cracked as he walked over to his younger brother. Nothing. There was no response. Not even a moan.

Falling to his knees, Donnie picked up Mikey head, and placed it in his lap. If his brother was having trouble breathing, this position should help flush any liquid in his trachea. Watching carefully that Mikey's chest was moving, Donnie kicked himself mentally for not placing his brother on his side. That would have helped him. It would have saved him. Saved him from...saved him from dying...

Mikey was gone. The first was to go, but the last one to die. That was Mikey. "Why..." Donnie whispered. "Why?!" He couldn't take it anymore. He had to get away. He had to get away from the death, from the suffering. He had to get away from the pain. He couldn't bear this anymore. It wasn't in him.

As he stood up, Donnie clutched his head. It was throbbing. Just like the rest of him. He had been cut by so many shurikens, but he didn't know where he was cut anymore. He was to covered in...in it...

He collapsed. Sobbing, he curled up into a ball, and screamed. There were no words to let the world know his pain. He was all alone now. His family had left him. He had driven them away. He had...he had done this...

He squeezed his eyes tight and continued to cry. He couldn't help it. He had to let it all out. There was no changing the past, no matter what he wanted. He had no way to console himself...

Donnie's mind began to shut down. He couldn't process anything right now. He was to tired. To exhausted. Sleep overcame his body, and he finally found peace.

* * *

Tears streamed down Donnie's cheeks. He didn't want to wake up. He didn't want to open his eyes and see his brothers' bodies again. He couldn't. It would kill him.

"Donatello," Someone shook him. "Donatello, my son!"

Donnie tried to fight back. He didn't want to open his eyes. But he couldn't help it.

"Donatello?" The voice...Donnie could see him as clearly as he ever could...it was his sensei...his father...it was Hamato Yoshi.

"Father?" He didn't know where he found his voice. He truly didn't.

Splinter let out a relieved sigh, pulling Donnie into his arms. "My son...my Donatello..."

Donnie din't know whether to laugh or cry. So he did both. The noise that came out of his mouth resulted in something...different, but it was something understandable. His father understood that he had been through much. He just didn't know how much.

Splinter wiped tears away from both of their eyes. He too choked down sobs.

"Father..." Donnie searched his Sensei for an answer to a question that he had not asked yet. "My brothers...where are my brothers?"

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**A/N: So, dudas, if I haven't said this before, please review! With this story almost done, the last few chapters, and the last few reviews, are most important. And yes, I just called you a duda. It's like dude, but fits girls too (since adding the "a" at the end something usually makes it more feminine). It's not a dudette though, so it's kinda like a combo. Sort of.  
Oh! Another 4,000 word chapter! How awesome is that? I know, I'm excited too!  
So please guys, tell me how this chapter affected you! I really really really want to know!  
Thanks again for reading and reviewing!**


	12. No Remorse At All

**A/N: Hi peoples! One chapter down, three to go! Kind of bummed because Mom might not let me type tomorrow!  
Anyways, I hope you guys like this chapter. The end is a little...well, slightly cliffy? But I think you'll like it! It'll make you go, "Wha...t?!"  
On another note, I made a video to this for you guys! If you go to google and type in "SAINW Skillet Hero", it will be the first thing there! I worked really hard on it, so I hope you guys like that too :D  
Now on with the story!**

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Donnie's heart pounded as he waited for his father to answer. Although nearly no time had passed since he first asked, he couldn't help but repeat himself. "Where are my brothers?"

"My son," Splinter put his hand on Donnie's shell. "They are waiting outside. Today has been...trying, and I recommended they rest," Splinter's voice dropped lower as he sighed. "I'm afraid none of them are doing that though."

Donnie struggled to sit up completely. His body was so weak, but his mind was turning. "I have to see them...I have to...I have to know..." He couldn't say it out loud. He couldn't. But he had to be reassured that his brothers were alive. For the first time in what felt like forever, his mind began to clear.

"My son-" Splinter began as he looked for some reason to keep his son down. But there was a determined look in Donatello's eyes, one that was not going to go away soon. "Let me bring them here."

"No," Donnie stated that one word as if it were a fact. "I...I have to go to them. I have to find them myself Sensei," It was then that Splinter knew that there was more than just a battle of the body raging on. Something had affected Donatello mentally, and Donnie could see that his father understood.

Donnie tried to swing his legs over the side of the infirmary bed, but that simple motion made him dizzy. The entire room began to spin, and he felt sick again. But he couldn't vomit again. He wouldn't. If he did...Sensei would never let him find his brothers. He would just bring them here, and that would defeat his mission.

Perhaps Splinter understood the gravity of the situation. Or perhaps he knew his son was to stubborn to be kept down. Either way, he wrapped Donnie's green arm around his neck, and they walked to the door.

At first, all Donnie could hear was noise. It was coming from everywhere, having no origin, and just causing his headache to grow. But as he deciphered the different sounds, each one had meaning.

Some kind of rock music was playing, no doubt Mikey's new obsession. Donnie had heard it every once in a while, but his little brother only played it if something was wrong. Deathly wrong. The lyrics were hard, screaming about the need of a hero. Mikey needed a hero. He needed his big brother.

The beat up the music was almost synchronized with the beat of Raph hitting the punching bag. His fists slammed against the beaten cloth, sweat pouring down his face. His jaw was clenched tightly, and knuckles were so bare that they had started to crack and bleed. He spun around, kicking the bag so hard that it finally fell to the ground, absolutely defeated.

Leo had Space Heroes playing, but he wasn't paying attention to it. He was sharpening his katanas to the point that they gleamed, but he continued working on them. The clinging of the metal, to Captain Ryan's exclamations, the continued beating of the punching bag, and that music...it was almost to much to bear. But Donnie knew it was his brothers' ways of coping.

"My sons," Splinter spoke as Donnie leaned on the doorframe. His stomach was churning, and his strength had all but left him. That battle...against the Shredder...it had drained him completely. But it was just a nightmare...just a nightmare...then why was it affecting him so?

All three of them jumped up, startled by their Sensei's intrusion. They didn't even hesitate as they raced to their brother's side. They knew that if Donnie was making a trek out here to them, that something must be important. None of them wanted to speak though. Every time they had, something bad had happened. It was like a curse.

Donnie searched in all his being for the strength that he needed. Reaching out quietly for Mikey, his brother responded by holding his arms out. Donnie grasped them, leaning on him for support. Slowly pulling away, he fingered what should have been Mikey's bad hand. The missing one. It made him wonder if his brother had ever had phantom pains. He no doubt did. But here...his brother was whole again. Pulling Mikey into a tight hug, Donnie tried not to cry. His brother was here. His brother was whole.

Turning to Raph, Donnie didn't even hesitate placing a hand over Raph's eye. He could picture the bandana sewn shut, the scars peeking from under it, screaming out the tortures that Shredder had succumbed him too. But here, now, his brother was perfect. Sure, his temper was still intact, and the punching bag had felt the full wrath of his fury, but he was perfect. He was perfectly whole.

For the first time, Donnie spoke. He couldn't help it. It was the only way to know. "How many fingers am I holding up Leo?" He didn't hold up any. He wanted Leo to know. If he guessed, then he would know. They both would.

"Donnie-" Leo was cut off by a sharp gaze from Splinter. He had to answer. It was vital to Donatello. "You're not holding up any fingers Donnie. What's this about?"

Donnie smiled, although it was a weak one. He could feel his knees starting to give out from under him, and he clutched his big brother tightly as he began to fall. "I'm sorry..." He whispered. He was completely ashamed. He couldn't even stand on his own anymore.

But that's why he had them. He could lean on them when he was weak. They were brothers. Brothers he could trust. They were family.

But they weren't ready to face the truth...he couldn't tell them...he jus couldn't. This was something he needed to keep to himself.

Splinter held Donatello as they ushered him back to his bed. "You need rest my son. Sleep."

"No..." Donnie shook his head roughly. "Not again...I'm not sleeping...not ever again..." He saw the worried looks exchanged between his brothers and father. "I can't go back..." He tried to swallow, but there was no liquid in his mouth to quench his throat. "I can't. You...you don't understand..."

"Then help us understand," Splinter gazed into Donnie's eyes, and he began to waver. But he had to save them. He had to save them from that wicked future. From that horrible world. They couldn't know. They wouldn't understand.

"I can't," Donnie whispered. "I can't...I can't hurt you anymore..."

"You've never hurt me!" Mikey insisted, squeezing Donnie's hand tightly. "Never ever!"

"Me neither," Raph spoke quietly, so unlike his normal self. He was struggling with something inside.

Blame. It was etched on all of their faces. Every single one of them. They blamed themselves for something. What had happened? They...they all held themselves responsible...like they knew what was causing him his pain...like it was all their faults...

Leo was shaking his head no. "I'm sorry Donnie...I'm so sorry..." He had tears welling up, and he quivering.

Splinter handed Donnie a cup that had been put beside his bed. "This will help my son."

Taking a slow, and steady sip, Donnie searched Leo's eyes for answers. "Why?" Gulping, he could feel his body caving to the rest that his father had insisted too. The rest that his Sensei had now forced on him. Something had been in that drink...something effective...

As Donnie's eyes closed, he saw Leo's saddened expression. He just kept mouthing the word sorry over and over again. That was so sorry. That it was all his fault. That he should have gotten there sooner. They should have been able to save him sooner.

What was he raving on about? Save him from what?

A sharp image flashed into Donnie's brain, and for a second, all he could see were the needles. The needles were everywhere, they were piercing him. They were taking from him! They...they wanted to kill him...take him apart...see what made him tick...it was to much! They were unraveling him! They were taking his mind apart! They wanted to...to replace him...

Donnie's mind went black as the memories punctured his skull. He couldn't take it. Not right here. Not right now.

* * *

Donnie could vaguely hear his T-Phone ringing. It was calling out to him, awakening him. It was reminding him that he had a mission.

Donnie slowly stood, grabbing his cell and answering groggily. "April?"

The answer that followed was filled with static, but understandable. "Where are you guys?!"

Donnie was silent. "They're gone April. They're all gone."

There a gasp on the end of the line. No words could exclaim what April was experiencing.

"But Shredder...he and Karai on gone too."

April was silent for a moment. "Are you okay Donnie?"

It was Donnie's turn for silence. "No, I'm not. But that can't be helped."

"I'm sending someone to come get you. Okay? Stay right where you are."

Donnie nodded, although April couldn't see it.

"Donnie?"

"I'm here April. And I'll be here," He looked around, the sun filling in the shadows. There was so much blood...he wanted to...he wanted to puke...

"Donnie? Don-" Donnie clicked his phone off, shutting out April. He had to be alone right now. He had to...he had to deal with this alone.

Birds were singing. The world was moving on. And nobody really cared that the reason that their lives were changed were because of his brothers. His brothers gave their lives for this cause.

"Great job kid. You got them killed," A voice startled Donnie, and he spun around to face the stranger who had snuck up on him. If his heart wasn't already racing enough, it spread through a crash course, like a runaway train. This...this person...it couldn't be...

The turtle that stood before him bore a dark purple mask, so dark in fact, at first glance, it appeared black. He was leaning on a weapon that made Donnie blink. It was the Kamayari.

"Tsk tsk," The stranger almost chuckled, but it reminded Donnie of more of a snort and a growl. "Such a pity. They were quite skilled you know," Grinning, the outsider stood straighter, walking ever close to Donnie. He breathed in the stench of freshly spilt blood like it was perfume, but kept a trained, glistening eye on Donatello. "My brothers," He murmured, glancing for a quick second at the bodies, but there was no remorse in his voice. No remorse at all.

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**A/N: Okay people! Who is this turtle? I know you know! And I'm dying to know your thoughts! Please tell me what you think of him! And what about young Leo's sorry stuff? Does that have anything to do with this? Because there's gotta to be more behind that that :D You know there is baby!  
Anyways, please review, I wanna know your thoughts, blah blah blah, you're already used to the drill ;) If you haven't reviewed already, please review, especially if you're reading this. It means you read my notes. My horribly...boring...notes...**


	13. To Fight It

**A/N: Okay guys, I've got several warnings for you:  
1) This chapter sucks.  
2) This gets a little intense (i.e. Character death?)  
Oh, and another thing...  
SLUMBER'S TOTURE IS BEING MADE INTO A COMIC ON DEVIANTART!  
I'm fangirling so hard! The cover and the first seven pages are already up! And the artist is amazing! I have it on my profile, but you could also check out Yinller (that's her dA name). But like I said, it's amazing!  
Now, with those thoughts in mind, I hope you semi-enjoy this chapter.**

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"Who...who are you?" Donnie couldn't even hardly form his words, but the question he just asked didn't really need an answer. It already had one. He knew. He knew who this was. But Mikey's little explanation earlier had not prepared him for this. This...this creature, it couldn't be him...he held honor, dignity, respect, but this beast had none of that. That much was clear.

Donnie's older counterpart drew a line across the Shredder's chest with his Kamayari. The slain body did not move, but the slit skin did spill a little blood. It clung to the scythe, which he brought close to him. Tracing a thick, dull, green finger over it, he tested the warmth. "I must say, this is quite interesting. I find it quite unfathomable that you actually managed to do it. They," He gestured to their three dead brothers, "Have been striving to kill him for years, but you...ha, you, the inexperienced little brother, the innocent do-gooder, you just sweep in here and kill him. You murdered him," He let the words drip down Donnie's conscience just as the crimson liquid dripped down his hand. Letting out a slight cackle, he just shook his head. "And his pretty little lackey too. That's quite an accomplishment in of itself."

Donnie coughed. "You..." He couldn't even focus on what to say. He stared himself down, although it seemed that his future persona was even taller than the six feet that Donnie already was.

"Oh, please. Enough with the formalities," This creature seemed amused at his confusion. "You can call me Don. At least, that's what my friends and family used to call me. Way back when," Don almost smiled at that thought. Way back when...years and years ago. He was contemplating this, Donnie could see that. He was calculating every single move, every single twitch that Donnie made. He was waiting for something to happen. He threw out words to see how Donnie would react to them. He was toying with him. But for what purpose?

Don was slowly circling around Donnie. He kept a trained eye on him, and it was making Donnie very uneasy. Don was so different than him. To different. He wasn't even him anymore. He was always dissecting everything around him, and the look in his gaze almost made Donnie feel like Don wanted to dissect him too. "You know what?" Don grinned, but it was a brutal, inhuman grin. It was barbaric, and savage. Uncaring. Heartless. Fiendish. Diabolical. There were so many words that described Don, and none of them were good. He was cold-blooded, and in more ways than one. "I witnessed the entire assault. I could pinpoint several ways how you could have changed everything, through every single step," He paused. "Or how I could have intervened and saved their lives. It would have been quite simple really. But I decided that the game had gone on long enough. Thirty years is quite a long game indeed, don't you agree Donatello?"

Donnie clenched his teeth as he filled with anger. The way Don was talking...it infuriated him. "I don't care who you are, or who you used to be, but you will not insult my brothers like that!"

Don nodded, clearly entertained that he got Donnie riled up so quickly. It only frustrated Donnie more. He could not imagine what had happened to him that made him like...like this! He was so insensitive, so cold to the world around him! He acted like this was all a chess game, and that everyone was his pawns. Shredder did not control this world. He did. He decided when and where his players would be, he was the one who set everything up. And then he watched. He watched everyone massacre themselves, and he just...he just laughed about it!

"It wasn't a game," Donnie murmured, glaring at Don once again.

"What was that?" Don only mocked him, clearly enjoying their little tirade.

"It wasn't a game," Donnie repeated, but louder this time. "This was life. This was their life. My brothers' lives. Your brothers' lives! How could you do nothing?"

Donnie seemed to have tagged a nerve. Don had recoiled slightly at the outburst, albeit quickly regaining his firm posture. "But isn't that what life is? Everyone being a puppet for the master. They provide amusement for the one who controls them. The one behind the scenes, the one with the strings that influences every move they make," Don continued, but his next words were even more inhuman. "They were the puppets, and I am the puppet master. Ironic, is it not? They once tried to control me. Control you," He whispered.

Donnie couldn't take it anymore. He was already adrenalin filled as it was, but he had a severe lack of oxygen to his brain. He had already been in this world so long...it was poisoning him. And he didn't even know it. Or rather, he didn't give a care to bring himself to acknowledge it.

Donnie pulled his Kamayari into an attack position, and glared at Don, who merely chuckled. "You don't want to do that kid. I have already figured out twenty seven different ways to take you down," Looking Donnie over, he grinned again. "Thirty one actually."

Donnie did something that he rarely did. In fact, it was more Raph's thing. He growled, the low rumbling erupting from the back of his throat.

"Oooh," Don laughed. "Was that supposed to be threatening?"

Donnie's upper lip curled up in disgust. If his brothers had died defeating the Shredder, then he would either have to face the same fate against himself, or take down this monster that he had become. It seemed like the only logical choice in Donnie's illogical brain.

"You really have lost it," Don seemed pleased at the thought. "The pollution in our air is not reacting very well to your body, and neither is the multi-polymer mutagenic material that has infiltrated your blood stream. From what I can tell, it has already settled into your blood stream. It's to late to reverse its upcoming effects. That is, if you survive long enough to experience it. I promise, it will change your life."

Donnie couldn't even form coherent words. His mind was completely turned off, just like he had learned to do in battle. It was easier to focus in a battle when you didn't focus at all. His eyes narrowed, and his pupils seemed to disappear, leaving only menacing white slits. Without hesitation or second thought, he charged toward Don. He didn't know exactly why he did it. He just did. He had to take out his rage on someone. Or rather, something. His brothers were dead. He had done all he could. And yet, at the same exact time, he hadn't. It had been his entire fault. He, or rather his future self, had abandoned his brothers. He had abandoned his brothers when it truly mattered. When he was supposed to swoop in and save them. But no. He hadn't. It was all his fault.

It was all his fault.

The guilt sunk into Donnie like a rock in a lake. He, in just a split second, had just plummeted to the emotional bottom that he could have ever imagined. It was his fault. It wasn't Karai's. It wasn't Shredder's. It was all his.

As Don sidestepped him, he picked up the blunt end of his Kamayari, and hit Donnie on the back roughly, causing him to stumble, and fall. "Kid, that was a very dangerous, and I shall also add, a very stupid move. Had you been anybody else, I wouldn't have been so kind."

"So kind?!" Donnie finally found his voice as he stumbled to his feet. "So kind?! You dare say that you were 'kind'?! After all you've done?!"

Don laughed. "After all I've done? You're right. I've done plenty," Grinning, he seemed to enjoy a rather unpleasant memory.

Donnie choked as he tried to take breath in. He started to cry once again, but it was a mix of guilt and anger. And Don clearly saw this.

"It's quite a pity," Don sighed. "That they turned out the way they did," He scrunched up his eyebrows. "It quite is..."

"You could have done something you know," Donnie whispered. He gazed up at his older counterpart, his bottom lip quivering.

Don, for once, seemed to contemplate that. "I could have...but they brought it upon themselves..."

"But they were your brothers," This time Donnie let the words drip down whatever was left of Don's conscience. "And brothers stick together. You were brothers. And brothers are forever."

Don seemed to nod, looking down at his younger counterpart. "But my brothers are no more. Unfortunately. Unless..." His cruel grin returned, and he cocked an eyebrow. "We have to make sure you don't return anymore."

Donnie lowered his head. "You know I can't do that..I can't leave April..." He was about ready to break down again. "I can't abandon her like I did them..."

Don just shook his head, his facial expressing clearly stating that it was not Donnie who abandoned their brothers, but him. "We have to get rid you," He tapped Donnie's chest. "And your self-condemnation. Forever," He added dramatically.

"But how?" Donnie knew that despite the insanity, Don was still himself. He was still a genius. He knew how to handle this situation.

Don just smirked, tightening his grip on his Kamayari. Bringing it down hard, he tripped Donnie, who landed hard on the ground. He could still smell the dried blood that had been spilled right here.

"Don't worry about April, Donatello," Don shifted his stance. "Just focus on your brothers."

Donnie's eyes widened as he realized what Don was about to do. His heart thudded so hard in his chest, and fear filled him. He wasn't ready for this. He wasn't ready to die.

Laughing, Donnie brought the tip of his scythe to Donnie's throat. "This better work. Or I'm a very dead turtle," Slicing slowly, but surely, Don watched as his own blood wet his blade.

Donnie couldn't breathe. His head fell to the floor, and blood trickled out of the corner of his mouth. Blinking, he coughed, and his blood sprayed his chest. He could only stare as Don leaned down to meet him eye to eye. "It was nice meeting you kid. You helped me to remember something I forgot a long time ago," He almost smiled. Almost. "Oh, and don't forget to trust the girl with the dragon tattoo."

Donnie couldn't respond. But he understood now. He understood what his brothers had gone through. He had died honorably. He had died fighting for them.

Closing his eyes, Donnie finally felt peace hold him in its welcoming embrace. He had done what he could. He died doing his best. And that's all he could have done.

* * *

Donnie opened his eyes, but it was odd. He could see his family, except something wasn't right. "Mikey?" Donnie reached out for his younger brother, who was leaning on Master Splinter. They were both staring at the infirmary bed.

Horror filled Donnie. Had something happened while he was gone? Had Raph or Leo gotten hurt? Peering over Mikey's shoulder, Donnie flew back at the sight he saw.

It was him. But then again...it wasn't. The figure that lay on the bed was so close to death, you could see the Grim Reaper standing beside him. He was so pale and thin, it was sickening.

But that wasn't the worst part. He was grimacing, his body convulsing and shaking slightly. Leo sat beside him, holding his hand, and Raph was behind him.

It wasn't the fact that Donnie could see himself literally passing away, it was the suffering his family was going through that was killing him. Splinter was shaking, and Mikey was sobbing. Raph was hugging himself, tears streaming down his face. And Leo...Leo was doing his best to hold himself together. He was talking to Donnie, stroking his shell, doing everything he could to keep his brother calm.

"It's okay Donnie. You don't have to fight it anymore," He whispered. "You can let go little brother. We're going to be fine. Just let go Donnie..."

Donnie wanted to cry, but he didn't have the strength for it. He was fading away, he could see it. His own form was growing dimmer, and he didn't know how to fight it.

* * *

**A/N: Now, this is where I beg for reviews, so here I am, begging for reviews. Please review! This story only has one chapter left to it, and I was really hoping to get to a goal of 175 reviews, but I only have 146. Which is still a lot, and you guys are just purely amazing! Thank you so much for the continued support! It means a lot to me.  
So anyways, if you're still reading me rambling, please review!**


	14. Brothers Forever

**A/N: Alright folks! This is the last chapter to this story! I hope you enjoy it as much as I did! I seriously hope I don't disappoint you guys either...anyways, don't worry, any questions you have will be answered in the sequel, "The Monster Inside". Now hurry up and read! And don't forget to review! It will mean a whole stinkin' lot to me :D**

* * *

Donnie could only watch in horror as his body tensed, shaking with pain. A pain that he was now beginning to feel. His breaths were growing shallower by the second, and his eyelids were fluttering uncontrollably, as if he was having a nightmare.

"It's okay Donnie," Leo repeated. He didn't want his little brother to suffer anymore. It just wasn't right.

Raph touched Leo's shoulder, and they switched places, this Raph holding Donnie's hand. "Hey, Donnie-boy," Donnie's body seemed relax at his brother's voice, and for a moment the pain had left him. "You know I'm not so good with words. Heck, I've never been. But Donnie, you gotta listen to Leo," Raph laughed weakly. "You hear me saying that? Me, of all people. But you gotta listen to Leo. You gotta let go little brother."

"No more..." Mikey cried quietly. "No more...don't hurt anymore Donnie...please..." Mikey looked up, his eyes glistening with tears.

Even Master Splinter had given up on him, merely placing a paw on his forehead. "My son, I never thought your time would come so soon. You have done many wondrous things in your life, and you have made an impact on all who knew you. You will not be forgotten."

"Never," Mikey whispered while Raph just bowed his head.

"We're brothers forever Donnie. Even if you can't be here in body, you will forever be with us in spirit," Leo spoke, closing his eyes tightly. He was doing his best to remain strong, but he too was crying.

"Brothers forever," Donnie whispered to himself. His family was here, sticking up for him, comforting him. He was not ready to die. Not today.

Donnie approached his body, the agony increasing the closer he got. The world around him seemed to disappear, and it was only him and...him. He was awake, but he was asleep. He was two different people, but he had to be one again.

As he got close, he could feel the magnetism. He was being pulled and repelled, drawn near, and pushed away. Closing his eyes, Donnie willed himself to be whole again. He had to be whole like his family. They were no longer broken...no longer torn...no longer dead...

Gasping, Donnie slowly opened his eyes. He could see his family standing over him. They did not expect him to pull through this. The believed in him, but they thought he was gone. Gone from them forever.

"Hey guys," Donnie whispered, his voice cracking. It was all but gone. He tried to smile at the shocked faces of his family, but he almost to weak to do so.

"Donnie?" Mikey murmured in disbelief. His bottom lip quivered, and he hesitantly hugged his big brother. But once Donnie was in his grasp, he knew that if Mikey wasn't pulled away, it would be a long time before he was out of it. Mikey had his eyes squeezed tight, and just held him.

"Mikey, geez, give him some breathin' room," Raph looked genuinely scared. Mikey flew back, patting Donnie's chest softly, but he looked terrified, like he had hurt him. His eyes were wide, and he couldn't decide whether he was happy or sad.

"It's okay," Donnie replied weakly. His eyes threatened to shut on him, but it wasn't because he was sleepy. He was just exhausted, tired to the bone. He had been through a lot, and hadn't gotten much rest. But he wasn't going to pass out on his brothers. Not now.

Leo reached out, but he was clearly unsure about even touching his little brother. "Donnie?"

Donnie gazed into Leo's eyes, and gave him an assuring smile. "It's okay now Leo. I'm okay now," A grin slowly etched across Leo's face, but there was still grief behind it. There was still pain. He knew it wasn't over yet.

"My son," Even Splinter couldn't stop his emotions from spilling over. Here was his son, on the edge of death, and only moments later, awake and alert.

Raph and Mikey stepped to the side to allow their father space. Splinter extended his arms, and Donnie strove to sit up into them. They met in the middle, and his father wrapped his arms around him. Donnie squeezed his father back, and nestled his face in his father's shoulder. He couldn't stop it when the tears began to fall. He didn't want to stop it. His father...his brothers...they had been dead, but now they were alive. They were a family again. They were together.

Donnie heard himself trying to speak, and he wanted to explain everything to them, but the words were not coming out right. They were garbled, and mixed up, completely uncomprehensible. He wanted them to know that he had done everything for them, that he was sorry, that he wanted all to be well. But all he could do was sob.

They gathered around him, around the bed. They surrounded him like a shield, they were his protectors. Just as he was their protector. They were brothers. It was what they did.

Splinter wiped his tears away, and smiled. Mikey was glued to his arm, and Donnie was concerned that he might lose blood circulation to it, but that was fine. He would do anything for them. Just as they were comforting him, he was to comfort them.

Leo was standing with his hand on his shoulder. He was the leader. He was always going to be looking out for him. It was just how it was going to be. Raph on the other hand, he was their defender. He always had their back. Donnie couldn't help but smile yet again at that thought. He was encompassed by his family.

But all was not well. How was he supposed to tell them about what he had seen? Witnessed? Experienced? Caused? He had to trust them. Without trust...they would just end up like they had before. If he did not trust them...they would...they would die...and it truly would be his fault...

"F..Father?" Donnie took a deep breath in, pulling himself together. He couldn't harden himself to what he was going to say, he couldn't turn off his emotions like Don had. He had to be open to his brothers, to his father, to himself. He had to trust them.

"Yes, my son?" Splinter spoke calmly, almost as if he sensed Donnie had something important to say. He had always been in tune like that. And he would always be like that, Donnie was going to make sure of that. He wasn't going to let anything destroy his father or brothers, whether he be the cause, or the Shredder, or the Kraang, or whoever. It just wasn't going to happen. He wouldn't allow it.

"I..." Where did he even begin? How? He couldn't let them think it was any less than what it really was... "I have seen things Sensei..." Just the use of his words, switching from 'Father' to 'Sensei' like that brought attention to him. As if he didn't already have all that.

"Donatello-" Splinter went to speak, but Donnie weakly held his hand up.

"Please. I...I have too..." Donnie couldn't even bear to look them in the eyes. He had killed them. Not by his hands, but by his promise of victory. But now, now he was going to right that. His wish, his if could come true. He had the chance to right the wrong. And he was going to seize this opportunity, and he was never going to let go. He was never going to let his family go.

Splinter nodded, and his brothers just stared, wide eyed, waiting for Donnie to begin. They felt the seriousness, the dire of the situation. They knew whatever Donnie was going to share was going to shake them as it did him, but they were together. And together, they could overcome anything.

"I don't know if it was just a dream, or if it was vision. Maybe I was really there, maybe I wasn't. All I know, is that I..." Donnie closed his eyes tightly. "I have seen our family torn far apart from the bonds that have held us. I have seen the consequences of our...my actions if I allow..." Donnie cringed, and he felt a cough rattle his body. It was dry, and shook from his chest. It was one that nearly took the air out of him. "If I allow my own selfishness to affect this family..."

"Donnie," Leo shook his head, as if he did not believe what his little brother was saying. "You are perhaps the least selfish person I know. You have always put others above you. You have spent hours in your lab, dedicated to making life easier for this family. So I do not want to hear about you being selfish," Looking up, Donnie saw how grave Leo was. He did not understand, he couldn't possibly perceive what had happened. How one decision made by him, by Hamato Donatello, had affected the entire family.

"Leonardo," Donnie spoke gravelly, having to push out what he needed to say with the little strength he had left. He saw the shocked looks on their faces. He never used their full names. Never. "This family was gone. There was no such thing. And...it was all my fault," Donnie's shoulders drooped, and he gazed down at his hands. He was squeezing them tightly, trying to do his best to keep himself strong for them. "I have seen things...done things you can't even possibly imagine..."

Leo sat at the edge of the bed, forcing Donnie to stare into his eyes. "Then tell us little brother. Start from the beginning."

Donnie just shook his head. "The beginning? Where I woke up to see the lair obliterated? Or do I skip to the part where Mikey saved me from the Foot? Where he told me I had..." Donnie fought back the tears. "Where I had not only abandoned you, but caused the death of Master Splinter? Where I betrayed you to the Shredder? That I caused the division of you and Raph? Or do I tell you that Raph blinded you Leo? And that Shredder took Raph and Mikey? That he gouged out Raph's eye? That he tortured Mikey to the point Raph had to amputate his arm? Is that what you want to hear Leo? Do you want me to tell you that I managed to gather you together just long enough for...for us to..." Donnie was completely sobbing now. His family could only watch silently as Donnie continued to pour out what held him down so heavily. They could do nothing. "What do you want to know Leo? That I failed you? That I led you into a battle against Oroku Saki? That Karai murdered you and Raph? That her legions took Mikey out? That at the last moment, I wasn't there for him when he needed me? Please! Tell me what you want to know!" Donnie was begging his brother, and Leo had no clue how to respond. Donnie was fully sitting up now, clutching Leo's shell. "Do you want me to tell you that I murdered them? That I killed Shredder and Karai with my bare hands? That I reveled in their deaths? That I was proud I had finally crossed the line? That in the end...in the end I...I..." Donnie didn't even know how to tell them. "I killed myself Leo. I had been there the entire time. And when he...when I approached myself...he...I killed me..." Letting out a weak laugh, Donnie felt light headed. "Would that be suicide? When your alternate future counterpart executes you?"

Leo only blinked. "Donnie...I..."

"Don't say anything Leo...I told you...it's okay now..." Donnie let out a well deserved sigh of relief. His head sank into his pillow, and he finally felt like he was worth the family he had. "What I don't get though is why I'm so sick..." He coughed again, but that wasn't what disturbed him. His brothers had glanced at each other as if they knew the cause of his current discomfort. No, it wasn't an if, they did know.

"You don't?" Mikey practically squeaked it out, his brow scrunching together in an innocent confusion.

Donnie shook his head no, and looked at his father for answers. Splinter frowned briefly, and sighed. "Rest now Donatello. You have been through enough for one day," Glancing at Mikey, Splinter cocked an eyebrow. "Now don't we have some of that pineapple and ham pizza left over?"

Mikey nodded, and took off for the kitchen, only to return seconds with the cold food. "Pizza makes everything better," He laughed as he handed it out.

"Agreed," Raph chuckled as he picked off the fruit.

Leo smiled at Donnie, and handed him his pizza. All together, they ate as a family, and although there was tension in the air, they could once again laugh together too.

* * *

_Don paused as he felt life itself ripple around him with change. The world's fate, which had rested upon the shoulders of his younger equivalent, had just been warped. The kid had surely done his job._

_Glancing at his brothers' bodies, a slow, small smile spread across Don's face. That alone was a miracle, but the sight before him was even better. Despite the loss of limb, Leonardo, Raphael, and Michelangelo, they were still alive. They were barely breathing, and they were still bleeding out, but it was true. They were wounded, but alive._

_Their brotherly bond was stronger than ever, as new memories now plagued Don's mind. It wasn't Raph who took Leo's sight, it wasn't Shredder who had taken Mikey's arm or Raph's eye. Shredder hadn't even killed Master Splinter. It had been a beast, a creature that would no doubt soon infect the young Donatello's mind._

_At least they had all remained together afterwards. All but him. He had changed very little, if there was any change at all. It appeared his fate had remained fixed._

_He knew what the problem was. Although he had trusted his brothers, he had made a grave mistake. He had not trusted himself. The hatred that he had once lashed out upon the world was now directly aimed at himself. He was forcing himself to live just to torment himself each and every day. He knew the blood that was on his hands. Except nothing he knew anymore could be trusted. He was untrustworthy. He wasn't worth anything. All the trust in himself was gone._

_"Well shell," Don muttered. "I guess this is going to be harder to fix than I thought," With that thought in mind, Don gazed upon the sky. It was early morning, but he could still see the twinkle of the last star. "Oh, Emily...I wish I could change everything," Don sighed, his heart threatening to crush itself from weight of guilt that it carried. "I wish my younger self could alter what happens in his lifetime," As Don looked away to see approaching vehicles, no doubt sent by April, he did not witness the star shine brighter, nor did he see it sparkle. It was absorbing in the wish that he had made, a wish that, despite it having to affect the past, would affect the present, and the future, as well._

_Don watched as April raced out of the military truck straight for his brothers. It was now that he had a choice. Did he step out of the shadows and save his brothers' lives, or did he remained hidden, a coward, forever to be marred by the events of his past?_

_He closed his eyes, and made his decision. Stepping out, he approached his nearest brother. He knew April saw him, and that wasn't going to change, but right now he had focus on the thing that mattered most. His family._

_Kneeling down beside his younger brother, Don immediately set to work, tying his bandana tightly around Mikey's arm._

_Mikey's eyes snapped open at the touch. "Donnie? Bro? Is that you?" He could hardly speak, but he recognized his brother in an instant._

_Don nodded affectionately at his childhood nickname. "Yeah bro, it is," He could only watched as his little brother fluttered in and out of consciousness._

_"Donnie..." Mikey whispered. "You're not going to leave again...are you?"_

_"Never," Don smiled weakly. "Never again. We're brothers, remember? Brothers forever."_

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**A/N: Okay so I know you guys are probably filled with more questions now than you were before, but like I said everything will be explained later. Well...mostly everything.  
Can you guys guess who was Don was referring to? Who is Emily?  
How do you feel about Don now? I have to admit, in the previous chapter, I despised him. But now...I guess I kind of feel bad for him, you know?  
Anyways, we have reached 3,000 words, so whoopdie doo! Please please review! (You see what I did there? It rhymes...sort of.)  
But yeah, if you read, faved, or put an alert for this story, can you please review? I mean, this is the LAST CHAPTER. This story is now complete! Yay!  
Well, adios, bye bye, until "The Monster Inside"!  
(Also...I'm really close to 200 reviews...and you could be the 200th review...so please review? Thank you...)**


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